T
he average mum has just 1 7 minutes to herself
a day, according to a 201 4 survey. Seventeen!
‘Me-time’ is an essential restorative ingredient
for feeling calmer and more able to appreciate
all the good things in our lives. At Christmas,
me-time is even more important. Ironically, it’s also when
that precious time gets torpedoed by festive commitments
to our families, friends and, well, just about everyone. The
result: Christmas becomes a stress-fest.
Then there’s the flipside – lots of us know all too well the
feeling that everyone else is having festive fun while we’re
counting down the days until January. However.... all this is
set to become a nightmare of Christmas past. This year you
can reinvent your festive me-time. And much like making
your Christmas cake, the best time to prep is right now.Swerve calendar clutter
“I never, ever schedule more than five meet-ups a week,
even at Christmas,” says my friend Alexa, who is one of the
calmest, most zen people I know. And now I know why.As a perpetual people-pleaser, I’m totally guilty of over-
committing to other people – and end up feeling resentful
because of it.
Yet ‘no’ is surprisingly difficult to say. I consult Dr Libby
Weaver, author of Rushing Woman’s Syndrome: The Impact of a
Never-Ending To-Do List and Exhausted To Energized. “You’ll
find it easier to say no if you focus on what you’re giving the
other person,” she explains. “The opportunity to be with
other people, an expanded view of the world, or a more
authentic friendship, for example.”
Practise saying ‘no’ in non-direct ways like, ‘Let me check
my calendar’, when a friend invites you to something you
don’t fancy (then if you text ‘no’ later, she can invite
someone who'd love to go). The result? You’ve consciously
cleared space in your calendar for restorative downtime,
as well as all the fun stuff you really want to say ‘yes’ to.
“The more time we give our body out of a stress response,
the greater our quality of life,” says Libby.Socialise selectively
‘We must get together before Christmas’ is a social mantra
repeated approximately every 3 0 seconds during the festive
season. If we took up every invitation, we’d be broke, bored
and banjaxed by sleep deprivation. What can you do when
you’re faced with so many social events?
“Rank your party invitations, and only go to your top
three,” advises my friend Imogen, who is far more sweet-
natured than that tip makes her sound. She just prefers
to reserve her energy for what’s important to her, namely
having a close relationship with her kids and watching
Strictly in front of her log burner.
Alternatively, “Throw your own party,” says my friend
Olivia, who hosts an annual cheese-fest complete with
copious amounts of brie and a playlist featuring Mariah
Carey and Fairytale Of New York. “Honestly, hosting is far
less effort than three weeks of running around town, and
you get to see all your favourite people in one place.”“You’ll find it easier to say
no if you focus on what you
are giving the other person”
Stop rushing around to other
people's parties and host
your own instead – it's the
perfect way to get friends
together in one place.Calm Christmas