time for you
CalmMoment.com 5Manage family time
Hell hath no fury like a grown woman cooped up with her
parents, in-laws and/or random relatives. It’s no surprise
that family arguments are the most stressful part of
Christmas, according to the Royal Society for Public Health.
And the key to staying calm? Seizing precious pockets of
time and space for yourself.
Trouble is, that can be easier said than done. “I was once
asked to sleep on my six-year-old nephew’s camp bed, with
a six-inch space between the two of us,” says my friend
Josie, who is happily single aside from the whole being-
lumped-with-the-kids scenario. “I protested and was
eventually given my niece’s room. My duvet was patterned
with unicorns, but it was at least my own space. I’ve been
known to get a B&B if having my own room isn’t an option.”
“I go for ‘a run’ and sometimes I just walk around, exhale
and enjoy the alone time,” confesses my friend Kelly with
some pride. “The fresh air, quiet and exercise calm my mind
far more than a Bailey’s in front of the fire with my in-laws.”
If the weather’s too gruesome to leave the house, run a bath.
Baths are a no-questions-asked claim to personal space.
Bring a book, lock the door and recharge for half an hour.
Do a digital detox
We spend an average of four hours and five minutes on our
phones every day – a quarter of our waking hours.
According to a University of California study, just a few
minutes of smartphone separation is enough to trigger
anxiety in our brains. It’s easy to relate. And yet I don’t want
to divorce my phone as I know I’ll need to do the majority of
my Christmas shopping online, as well as sorting out my
social diary and, of course, the important business of
posting pictures of my cats in Santa hats on Instagram.
“If you’re getting pleasure from your device, that’s great,
but if you’re on your phone because you’re scared of falling
behind, that’s the anxiety chemical system kicking in, and
that has a negative impact on your state of mind,” says
Professor Larry Rosen, author of Distracted Mind. Luckily,
he also says there are three simple practical steps for
taming tech addiction. First, turn off all notifications.
Second, set an out of office email reply for the duration
of the Christmas break. Third, move your most-used apps
to the last home screen and bury them inside a folder. Four
swipes and two taps will give you enough pause to ask
yourself why you’re doing this.
Start your own traditions
Fed up of falling in with everyone else’s Christmas plans?
Make your own. “Last Christmas my partner and I decided
we needed to protect some time for us and the kids rather
than have timings dictated to us by our wider family,” says
my friend Nadia. “Just because my in-laws were organising
dinner for Christmas Eve didn’t mean we had to go then. So
we established our own tradition: breakfast of pancakes and
popcorn in our PJs. We had the best Christmas morning at
home opening presents and the kids were so excited about
the books and handmade treats in their stockings – instead
of the previous year at my in-laws when they compared
their presents to the iPads Santa had given their cousins,
and had a total tantrum about it.”
The fact so many friends have time-shielding tips at the
ready suggests we don’t need to feel guilty about adopting
a few of our own. By respecting other people’s wishes to do
their own thing during the holidays, they’re more likely to
respect yours.
If everyone makes a conscious effort to reclaim their time
at Christmas – and understands that others will want to do
the same – we should be in for much happier holidays, ready
to start the new year refreshed and revived.Ease the stress of constant
socialising by heading
outdoors and enjoying
some quiet time in nature.