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ANNEKE BOTS
PHOTOGRAPHY
ANOUK DE KLEERMAEKER
STYLING
ANNE-MARIE REM
HAND-LETTERING
VALESCA VAN WAVEREN
teaches clients to rely on their inner compass. “What
do you find important?” she asks. “Forget your parents
and friends, what do you want? We measure ourselves
too much by others. If you are always busy with the
outside world and base your decisions on that, you can
never really be happy.” She gives her clients exercises
to get in touch with their heart and body. For example:
What happens in your body when you experience
something not so pleasant? How does it feel? And how
does your body respond when someone gives you a
compliment or you have a nice conversation? “Notice
that difference,” De Witte says. “By learning to feel
again, you increasingly come into contact with your
own mission. What also works is seeking silence, just
‘being’ more often than ‘doing’. Preferably not at your
desk or in the workplace, but in another context, for
example on a walk or after a long yoga session.
Because the best ideas arise in peace and quiet.”ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE
Well, I don’t feel much pressure from my environment,
but at the same time, I can’t stop measuring my
performance against that of others. And yes, that can
intimidate me: young people, almost half my age, with
an impressive resume; peers with a bunch of books to
their name; my graduate brother; friends who manage
an entire editorial team... Sometimes something gnaws
away at me, an ego thing plays up. Have I missed an
opportunity? Could I have achieved more? But then I
mainly think: How clever of them, I couldn’t do that.
And how wonderful: I don’t have to write a book or run
an editorial office. Let me type out good stories, the
way I’ve done most of my working life. And will
probably still be doing in ten years. That’s my ambition.
It’s also just how you set your own standard. For me, it
doesn’t have to be all that big or goal-oriented.
“Society may want us to go that extra mile, but far
more important is whether doing something gives you
satisfaction,” says blogger and author, Jelle Hermus.
His approach is to replace the pursuit of ego-driven ormaterialistic goals with ‘contributions’, by helping
people, for example. “Ego-driven pursuits come from
dissatisfaction, from the fear of not having enough or
not being good enough,” he says. “But contributions
arise from love, pleasure, freedom and joy. Out of the
fine things, and they make you far happier. They create
an upward spiral from which you can grow, without
having to worry about others or how you come across
on Instagram or Facebook. Everyone follows their own
path. You try something out and sometimes it works,
sometimes it doesn’t. Either way, it’s okay.”
This idea appeals to me. It’s like the exchange
between Alice and the Cheshire Cat in Lewis Carroll’s
Alice in Wonderland that is often paraphrased as: ‘If
you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get
you there’. No matter how you do it—with a bit of
fussing about, falling down and getting up again, and
going off on the odd tangent—just do it, try things out
and you will find what suits you. Intheend you always
end up somewhere. Just like Alice.