ILLUSTRATION: PIETARI POSTI026 RUNNERSWORLD.CO.UK JUNE 2018âIâLL PROBABLY NEVER GET
FASTER OVER THE MARATHONâ
RUNNERPEDIA
Ice treatment (n)
How you make a
postrace gin and
tonic feel better.Attitude
training (n)
Running while
wearing an
expression
that says âDonât
even look at
me! Did you just
look at me?âWarm up (v)
Prepare for a run
with a lovely cup
of coffee.tâs the last 600 metres of the South Manchester parkrun and
Iâm gearing up for a big finish. Over the last quarter of a mile
or so runners have cruised steadily past me; itâs been a living
nightmare. My arms sag ineffectually by my side my legs lost
in a lactic fog. Iâm not very fit at the minute. The contrast
between this year and last is stark. In spring 2017 I was
cresting my highest mileage ever merrily doing Yasso 800
sessions 22-mile long runs and racking PBs every weekend.
I had a goal a sub-three-hour marathon; it was magic and
all-consuming. But in spring 2018 Slacker Tonks is doing
half the mileage mostly unable to make track Tuesday owing to work
commitments and posting personal worsts at every opportunity.
Today for instance Iâll be a minute and a half slower than I normally
am. Some of this is physical. I had back spasms that lost me two weeks;
then the âBeast from the Eastâ hit me hard and I had âthat f luâ that everyone
got. I was in bed for a week and three weeks later I'm still not quite right.
But it goes deeper than that. Iâm having a bit of a crisis. Strap in.
In Anthony Trollopeâs He Knew He Was Right a character says âThey
are most happy who have no story to tell.â I wonder if itâs hard for me to be
happy about running unless Iâve got a race to aim for. I am like a character
in search of an author at the moment. The sub-three push was amazing
but Iâve struggled to replace it. I lived in essence like a full-time athlete
for six weeks or so last year knocking back work sleeping during the day
getting massages chomping overpriced energy balls and visualising. It was
as committed as Iâll ever get so Iâve had to accept that Iâll probably never
get faster over the marathon. If nothing else my wife would leave me.
So what now? I fantasise about an ultra but donât know if my body will
take it. My Mortonâs toe is an issue. Every runner it seems gets an injury
to manage and this is mine. It seems to f lare up if I go over 50 miles a week.Enough but restrictive and possibly
harmful if I push into an ultra.
I have another fantasy about
being one of those happy runners
unmotivated by time â just running
for experience. You know the type- they wave to all the spectators
thank all the marshals talk during
the race and smile throughout.
I like this. I can see this being the
future. I do love running and I want
to encourage others.
But in some way Iâm wrapped up
in the idea of being fast and Iâm
annoying myself. This morning for
instance â I am trying my best itâs
just nowhere near enough. And the
less fit you are the less youâre used
to really surging into pain. As we
approach the track for the last
300 metres or so an old and quite
fit bloke high-steps it past me. For
some reason he becomes my target - runners of all shapes men and
women have gone past me this
morning but heâs the benchmark.
I stay in contact tuck in and as we
hit the synthetic surface a sense
memory hits me. Iâm back at school
or even last spring and I pass him
(I later find out he is 64) and then
someone else. Thereâs a runner 10
metres in front of me. I know I can
take him but I slow down. I feel
embarrassed I feel that I donât
deserve to go past. Let him have it.
In the chute I am leg-weary and
breathing hard. Thereâs a pleasure
in that certainly but Iâm feeling
a bit stupid. This isnât me; itâs an
impersonation. As track season
approaches I know that the only way
through this is to run hard. I just
havenât been training hard enough.
Everyone runs for different
reasons and all running is good
but Iâve realised thereâs still a bit
of pride in it for me. My identity is
tied up in it. Happy comes later.
Tonky Talk
BY PAUL TONKINSONI