Prop comedy. A
quick-fire Dadaist
cavalcade of anarchic invention or some
guy who’s nailed a Monopoly board to a toilet
seat in search of some hazy Game of Thrones
gag? In Carrot Top’s deft hands it can switch
between both in a hot flash. Yet despite
being nimble, self-deprecating, energetic and
ingenious, the copper-locked one (real name:
do you care?) has been the butt of many
a joke down the years. Nothing, however,seems to knock him off his stride –
not even 1998 starcrash Chairman
of the Board, a film that one can
watch three or four times and still
not have an inkling what it’s getting at. The
film’s poster, which shows CT dressed in a
suit and tie surfing through a stuffy office,
could easily have doubled as the script, while
the prop-com is limited to a TV dinner/TV set
combo that, like El Topo’s film career, never
really pans out. Roles as ‘Himself’ in Gene
Simmons’ Family Jewels, Swearnet: The Movie
and Sharknado: The Fourth beckoned.
Where Are They Now?
Enjoying a sell-out residency at the Luxor
Hotel in Las Vegas. Watching a
Dana Carvey
stand-up special is like having one
of those soul-blackening night terrors in
which a fathomless, ageless golem – one
that, to be fair, does a first rate George Bush
impression – squats on your chest. What
does he want? How long must it go on?
Where’s his Canadian buddy with all those
shagadelic catchphrases? His impeccable raft
of impersonations nonetheless landed Carvey
on Saturday Night Live, which in turn offered
up a slew of routine movie offers. He was
affable, winsome and forgettable in mistaken
identity caper Opportunity Knocks (1990).He had a nice smile, clean
hair and no takers for
amnesia caper Clean Slate (1994).
And while he can swag some movie cred for
tagging along with Mike Myers for the Wayne’s
World diptych, his lasting mark on cinema will
surely be the self-penned mimicry showcase/
cry for help The Master of Disguise (2002), a
film so cretinous and pathetic that not even
the cleanest hair in the whole world could
have saved it.
Where Are They Now?
Despite turning a tidy profit, MoD – in which
chuckles plays a character called Pistachio
Disguisey – became such a byword for
awfulness that playtime was over. Now
relegated to cameos in the occasional Happy
Madison gravy train comedy.Pauly
Shore’s mum owned
The Comedy Store in LA. He was mentored
by Sam Kinison. He made it big on MTV and
starred in a flurry of annoying, increasingly
unprofitable movies (Bio-Dome, In the Army
Now, Jury Duty, Son In Law, etc) until Hollywood
pulled the plug.
Where Are They Now?
Pauly’s fall was steep, deep and gleefully
cheered on by both the comedy fraternity and
the general public. His comeback attempts
have been scattershot, tone deaf and plentiful,
but he may have finally found his niche withhomemade YouTube meltdown Random Rants.
Dressed in underpants, a Goodwill t-shirt,
sunglasses, and looking like he hasn’t slept
since 1996, Shore lurches between maudlin,
needy, self-effacing, uproarious and back to
needy as he spouts off about whatever crosses
his mind. He is aided in this by his elderly Indian
pharmacist, a snickering DJ, whichever adult
film star he’s currently palling around with and
a Larry David manqué he claims to have met
in his local Starbucks and who outstrips him at
every turn. It’s a heartwarming trainwreck and
a micro-managed PR disaster that plays as if
Brad Pitt’s character from 12 Monkeys had a
chat show produced by Shia LaBeouf and floor
directed by Lars von Trier. 034 The Uncut Gems Issue