I’m a divorced dad of
two, and my biggest
childcare challenge
is navigating the
life of coparenting.
I try to find a balance
between getting my
time with the kids and
respecting their need
to be with their mom,
even when it conflicts
with plans I’ve made
with them. It’s been
hard to not take it
personally, but giving
up time has actually
made my relationship
with the kids stronger.
I’ve seen how much
they want a voice and
how much it means
to them to be heard.I work irregular
hours and my hus-
band’s job is more
flexible, so he often
steps in to help
with childcare.
When he can’t, I find
it helpful to set condi-
tions with work as
early as possible.
For instance, if my
job requires me to
stay late but I have to
get my son to school,
I’ll say yes but estab-
lish a hard out at a
specific time. This
lets me avoid saying
no while giving my
employer the option
to ask someone else
if my restrictions
don’t work.I work from home,
so finding my son
consistent care was
important. Once we
got him into daycare,
we thought everything
would be easier, but
he was sick constantly
the first few months.
We used Care.com
to find help on an
as-needed basis for
the days he wasn’t
feeling well enough
for daycare, which was
a huge help. I make
sure to keep daily
instructions some-
where accessible and
always have an extra
childcare bag packed
with the essentials in
case plans change.We downsized our
budget and saved
enough money to let
my wife take a break
from work and care
for our toddler and
preschooler instead
of sending them
to daycare. We previ-
ously had two cars
and now share a
slightly used minivan.
Sharing one car to keep
our expenses low is
tough, but we enjoy
lots of laughs together
on those rides home.
If we had to do it over,
I would start earlier
and put money in an
account that could
gain interest during
the years before
Florida’s free pre-K
program starts.Our kids are 5 and 11.
Dropping them off
and picking them up
at two different loca-
tions can be incredi-
bly challenging and
often results in
less-than-desirable
dinnertimes. One of
my partner’s and my
saving graces is a
shared weekly grocery
and meal-planning
list. We track our din-
ner menu, grocery
list, and household
to-dos. The grocery
list even has emoji
so our 5-year-old can
help find things at
the store.Making It WorkWhat’s yourbiggest childcarechallenge, and howdo you tackle it?By Rachel SchallomJANAI NORMAN, 30,
ANCHOR AND
CORRESPONDENT
FOR ABC NEWS IN
NEW YORK CITY
MATT E. POLEOS, 40,
DIRECTOR OF TRAINING
AT HUEY MAGOO’S, A
RESTAURANT IN LAKE
MARY, FLORIDA
KACIE MILLER, 37,
BUSINESS ANALYST IN
LYNCHBURG, VIRGINIA
KATHRYN SNELLEN,
30, OWNER OF KES
STUDIO, A MARKETING
FIRM IN KANSAS CITY,
MISSOURI
BRYAN PETERS, 42,
PROJECT AUTOMATION
ENGINEER IN
WINSTON-SALEM,
NORTH CAROLINA
HEAD SHOTS COURTESY OF SUBJECTS
94 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2019 Illustration by Andrea Mongia