A16 NUTRITION&WELLNESS OTHEGLOBEANDMAIL | MONDAY,OCTOBER21,
E
ven before Suzanne Jangda’s
son was born, she was think-
ing about how she’d talk
about him on Facebook or Insta-
gram.
“I’ve talked about it with my
husband a lot. It’s an ongoing dis-
cussion,” she says. “Early on, we
decided that we wanted to agree
on everything we shared, so we
wanted to always talk to the other
one before we shared any photos.
We didn’t want to share some-
thing and have the other one not
be comfortable with it.”
She admits that neither parent
has ever actually nixed the oth-
er’s post. But just the act of check-
ing in with her husband has made
her more thoughtful about what
she shares. And as social-media
“oversharenting” – that is, over-
sharing of parenting content on
platforms such as Facebook, Twit-
ter and Instagram – becomes
more common, that’s increasing-
ly important.
Jangda works in social media,
so she has seen many, many ex-
amples of what not to do. Think
photos that are cute now, but will
inevitably embarrass even the
most well-adjusted teenager, or
posts that go into a little too
much detail around little Liam’s
potty-training journey. But any-
one who follows people with
young children has likely seen an
example of parental oversharing,
especially if those parents are
part of the millennial generation.
To be fair, it’s not surprising
that parents in this age group
post so much about their chil-
dren. We’re all posting more. Kylie
Rymanowicz, an early childhood
educator at Michigan State Uni-
versity’s continuing education or-
ganization, Extension, points to
data from Pew Research Centre,
which found that in 2005, just 5
per cent of Americans used social
media.
By 2011, that number was clos-
er to half the country, and today,
72 per cent of people use at least
one platform. (According to the
Canadian Internet Registration
Authority, 60 per cent of Cana-
dians use social media.)
And one of the benefits of so-
cial media is the opportunity to
share photos with far-flung loved
ones or to connect with other par-ents for advice and support.
But that doesn’t mean there
aren’t downsides to using social
media, especially if parents be-
come too dependent on it. Over-
sharenting can easily become a
pathway to unhealthy compari-
son, says Toronto-based parent-
ing expert Samantha Kemp-Jack-
son. That’s especially true if
you’re already struggling with
mental health.
“You used to have to take pho-
tos and wait to get them devel-
oped. Now, it’s that immediate
gratification and that dopamine
rush that people can get from the
likes and shares and comments,”
she says. “It can really have a neg-
ative effect for people who are al-
ready dealing with anxiety and
depression.”
Parents should also ask them-
selves if they’re modelling the
type of behaviour they want to
see in their children.
“We want to exemplify the
types of lives and experiences
and activities that we want our
kids to replicate. So, if we’re shar-
ing and posting every single as-
pect of our life online, then
what’s going to happen? Our kids
are going to do the same – and
there are obviously potential is-
sues with that,” Kemp-Jackson
says.That’s something Jangda has
been thinking about, too. “I’m on
my phone a lot. I work in social
media, I write and edit, I free-
lance. And he’s watching. He’s al-
most two and he’s such a copycat.
[So] I’m trying to cut that down,
because I don’t think he needs to
be on devices,” she says.
So, what’s a parent in an in-
creasingly connected world to
do? Experts know there’s no way
people are going to stop using so-
cial media. But it’s worth trying to
change how it’s used.
“One of the best things that
parents can do is to be really in-
tentional,” Rymanowicz says.
“We’re posting and not really
thinking about it. Instead, [ask
yourself questions before you
post]. Will you regret sharing this
information? Will somebody be
embarrassed or hurt? Are you liv-
ing by your values?”
She also recommends looking
for meaningful engagement – en-
gage with a community online,
don’t just mindlessly scroll.
And make sure you’re spend-
ing time with your real-life con-
nections, too. “Social [media] it-
self isn’t a bad thing, but it’s im-
portant that it has balance,” she
says.SpecialtoTheGlobeandMailISTOCKParentsshouldbewareof‘oversharenting’
Takeamindfulapproach
towhatyoupostabout
yourchildrenonsocial
media,expertsays
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Youusedtohavetotake
photosandwaittoget
themdeveloped.Now,
it’sthatimmediate
gratificationandthat
dopaminerushthat
peoplecangetfromthe
likesandsharesand
comments.Itcanreally
haveanegativeeffect
forpeoplewhoare
alreadydealingwith
anxietyanddepression.SAMANTHAKEMP-JACKSON
PARENTINGEXPERTH
er newborn was sleeping,
but Sarah Lynch wasn’t
tackling household
chores, or having a shower, or
even napping herself – any of
which would have been prefer-
able to what she was doing,
which was mindlessly scrolling
on her phone. “I realized it was
making me feel bad about my-
self, anxious and more tired than
I needed to be,” she says. “I un-
derstand, because I’ve been to
therapy, the kind of person that I
am – I can get caught up in nega-
tive thinking or feeling anxious.
And I didn’t need any more of
that stress in my life.”
What she did need was med-
itation, as it turns out. She down-
loaded an app, committed to a
year’s subscription and started
doing guided meditations when
her son went down for his morn-
ing nap.
And she saw the benefits im-
mediately. “After about 10 min-
utes, it’s over and I feel better. It
doesn’t even take that long – but
I’ve taken that moment for my-
self, I’ve actually paid attention
to my breath.”
Lynch’s meditation practice is
just one example of mindful-
ness, which is “anytime we are
purposefully paying attention,”
says Stephanie Kersta MSc, RP, a
psychotherapist and the co-own-
er of Hoame, a meditation studio
in Toronto. According to Kersta,
you can eat mindfully by paying
attention to the sight, smell, tex-
ture and taste of your food. You
can drink coffee mindfully. You
can even walk mindfully.
And there are real benefits, in-
cluding “decreased anxiety, de-
creased depression, improved
sleep, increased energy, in-
creased productivity, increasedfocus, increased immunity, de-
creased pain response and [an]
overall happier mood,” she says.
This is especially true for new
moms, who may feel isolated
from their partners, family and
friends while on maternity leave,
which can make anxiety and
other negative emotions worse.
Kersta points to a 2017 studypublished in BMC Pregnancy and
Childbirth, which found “mind-
fulness practices during the post-
partum period may contribute to
a mother’s psychological wellbe-
ing.”
And, a 2016 study in Journal of
Consulting and Clinical Psychol-
ogy found pregnant women with
a history of depression who triedmindfulness-based cognitive
therapy reported “significantly
lower” rates of depressive epi-
sodes – and when they did have
those episodes, they were not as
severe.
And Lynch is right – it really
doesn’t take much. If you can
swing it, it can be easier to get
into a meditative state at a class
outside of your home.
But apps are great options,
too. “Try Calm, Headspace, or we
really love Insight Timer as it is a
free option, which is helpful with
reduced mat leave pay!” Kersta
says. “We also really encourage
to start small: three minutes per
day, and build on that.”
You can also add mindfulness
into other parts of your day,
whether that’s while you’re
drinking your morning sup of
coffee, as you take your baby for
a walk or while you’re having a
shower.
And, she says, it’s important
to breathe deeply. Stress can
cause us to take shallow breaths,
which signals to our brain that
there’s an impending threat.
“Your brain kind of scrambles
after you have a baby,” Lynch
says. “But programming mind-
fulness into my world is a posi-
tive thing for me. It’s giving my-
self permission to be kinder to
myself. I know, on one level of
my brain, to take care of myself
first is to take better care of my
son.”Special to The Globe and MailWhynewmothersshouldcarveouttime
formindfulnessandmeditation
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