LIFESTYLE
KARAMO’S
GUIDE TO BOOSTING YOUR
HAPPINESS QUOTA
QUEER EYE’S
handsome culture
guru overhauled his
own life long before
he set his sights
on the lives of
strangers. He shows
us how.
RAMOBROWNlovesbeing
QueerEye’s resident‘culture’
uy,buthe’sveryawaremost
peopledon’tactuallyknowwhat
that means.Aftertwo seasonsoftheNetf lix
reboot, fans are officiallybesottedwiththe
38-year-oldthankstohisimmaculatestyle,
ridiculousgood looks andlife-changing
wisdom.They just aren’t sure exactly what
hisjobis.
“I’ma trainedpsychotherapistanda social
worker,”Karamosays.“Alotofpeople
don’tknow that because my culture titleis
misleading– theydon’treallyknowmyjob
ontheshow isto fixtheinside,theheart and
themind.”
It’struethatKaramo’s on-screen
momentswiththeshow’smakeover
subjectsare oftenthemost powerful,
catharti cand,occasionally,emotional
towatch.
“Mostofthecryingcomeswithme,”
hesays,laughing.“I’mtheonewho
hasto figure outwhat theemotional
issuesare andfixthemwithinfour days!”
Karamoisparticularlygood at thisbecause
he’s hadhisown emotionalissuesto fixin
thepast,somethinghe’sincrediblyopen
about.Thereality star att empted suicidein
2006,andcreditstwoofhisbestfriendswith
saving hislife by findinghimandcalling an
ambulance.
“I thinkwhatgotmethroughwasjustseeing
allthepeoplearound mesupportingmeand
lovingme,”herecalls.
Thankfullythesedays,byhisownadmission,
he’s operati ngat peakcapacity inthe
happinessdepartment.
“Everysingleminuteofeverydayit goes
between extreme happinessorhappy crying
becausenoneofuscouldimaginethatevery
singlethingwe’veever wanted in life would
behappening,”
Karamosays.
Givenhe’s
helpedsomany
menturntheir
livesaroundon
theshow,we
askedKaramo
if he’dmind
sharingsome
ofthethings
he’slearntin
hisownpursuit
ofhappiness.LANGUAGEISEVERYTHING
“THEbiggestthingI helppeoplerealise
on the show is there’s a lot of power inlanguage,”Karamoexplains.
“Whenwegettodarkspacesin
ourownheadswethink,‘Noonecould
understand,I’m alone.’ Thesenegati ve
narrati ves play over andover inourheads.”
Karamosays shiftinghisown internal
monologuetook practi se,butnow hedoesit
withease.
“Thelanguageyousaytootherpeopleand
thelanguageyousaytoyourselfcanchange
everything.ThisissomethingIpracti se
consistently.”
Anotherharmful activityiscriticisingyourself
beforeotherscandoit,hesays.
“I havea lotoffriendsI trytoworkwith
whowillbeatpeopletothepunchofsaying
somethingnegati ve about[themselves],”
hesays.“Whensomeonecompliments
me,I takea moment to process it and I’m
grateful.”COMPARISONKILLSCONFIDENCE
INtheera ofself-promotion,itcan oftenfeel
like there’s afinelinebetween confi dence
andarrogance.
Sohowcanyourecogniseyourown
achievementswithoutputtingpeople
offside?Karamohasafailsafe solution.
“Jonathan[VanNess]andIsay thisallthe
time:‘Comparisonisthethief ofjoy’,” he
explains. “When you’re inthespacewhere
youcanverifyyourownself,thatmeans
you’reproudofwhatyou’vedoneandyou
feelworthy,butcomparisonis wheretheego
startstocomein...andthat’swhereit veers
intoarrogance.Tearingotherpeopledown
to make yourself feel bett er is not healthy,”
he says.LEANONYOURLOVEDONES
KARAMOsays whilelife isprett ysweet, his
mainsource ofstress isbalancingahectic
workschedulewithhisfamily,whichincludes
histwo sons,hisparents andhisfiancé.He
says it’s aparticularkindofguiltmost hard-
working peoplecan identi fy with.
“I’m going aft ermy dreams andmy dreams are
importantto me,butyou’re givingmore time
andenergytosomethingthanyouusedtogive
to your fiancéandyour kids,” hesays.
“I communicatetothemthatI feelguiltyabout
this,andgivethema spacetosayhowthey
feel.Wethencometoa compromisewhereI
sti llfindmoments to spend ti me with them.”GETSILLY
WHILEKaramorecognisesphysical fitness
is important,he’smorefocussedonmental
fitnessandhaving agood time.Onethingthe
busy father-of-twofindstimeto doevery day
ishave ascanti ly-clad boogiesession.
“Whethermorning, night oraft ernoon,Iwill
stripdowntomyunderwearandturnonmy
iPhoneanddancefor five orsixminutes,”
hesays.“Itgetsmyheartrategoing,gets
endorphins pulsing, and I feel silly, which is
great.”PLANYOURPEAKS
TOmanagethehumdrumofthedailygrindit
helpstohavesomethingtolookforwardto.
ForKaramo, that’shisweddingto‘theloveof
hislife’,directorIanJordan.
“I gotengagedonMay9 thisyearbutI’ve
beenplanningmyweddingsinceI waseight
yearsold,”headmits.“I’vealreadybooked
thevenue. Thewedding won’t beunti l2020
because we willhopefullybeshootingQueer
Eyefora while,buttrustandbelieveit is going
tobelavish.I can’tlie;I’mtryingtorivalthe
royals.”
Beforehiswedding,Karamohasanotherbig
family event onthecards: atripto Paris for
Christmas.
“WhenI wasa psychotherapistI wasmaking
a decentlivingtosupportmyfamily,but
nota lot.I alwayswantedtodosomething
extravagantandthisisthefirst timeinmy life
Ican aff ord to,” heexplains. “SoIjust bought
tickets for allmy family to go to Paris over the
Christmasholidays. Igot usabigplacewith12
roomsandI’morganisinga chef.Bobby[Berk,
QueerEye’s designexpert] might beshowing
upbecauseI invitedalltheguys.BobbyandI
are really close.I’m soexcited.”
That’sa fasttrack to happiness if we’ve ever
heard one!TEAR other
people down
to make yourself
feel better is notis ot
healthy.
SOURCE: MAGAZINE FEATURES
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