REALLIFE
From Meth To
InhisnewbookThisIs Costa:FromMethTo
Marathons, theathletesharesthedetailsof
howheescapedthehellsofcrystalmethby
running.
“Ialwaysbattledtodealwithmyemotions
froma youngage.I wasoftensad,confused
andriddledwithanxiety.Somethingabout
mealwaysfeltwrong,”Costatellsus,
explainingthathissexualidentityplaguedhis
childhoodyears.“Ididn’tknowhowtodeal
withbeinggayanddifferenttootherguys.”
Costaadmitsthatwhileheoftensmoked
cigarettesanddrankalcohol,heliveda
veryhigh-functioningandoftenhappylife.
Butseveretraumainhislate20sleadtoa
depressionheseeminglycouldn’tovercome,
andCostatriedtohandlethiswithhard
drugs.Hislifechangedforever.
“CrystalMethwasonedrugthattotally
switchedmeoff,”Costasays,addingthatthe
numbnesshefeltwasexactlytheescapehe
waslookingfor.“Iusedtousealoneandthe
methtoldmeit wouldtakecareofallthe
pain.[But]I neededmoreandI slippedinto a
heavyaddiction.”
Eventually,though,afteragesspentas
slavetoa substance,Costaknewsomething
neededtochange.
“OnenightI wasliterallyonmyknees
lookingatcopsoutsidemyhousethat
werenoteventhere.I wassuffering
fromridiculoushallucinations
anda feelingthatI hadlost
control,”Costarecalls.
“Methmademefeel
empty–likeI hada
holeinmysoul.I
wasriddled withBY EL BROIDDEguiltandpainandthemethhadtakenover
andit frightenedme.Frightenedmeso
muchI becamedesperatetonevereverfeel
thatwayanddoeverythinginmypowerto
findrecovery.”
ButCostaneededsomethingtohelploosen
thegripofaddictionenoughtobreakfree
fromit,andthatsomethingwasexercise.
Costafeltempoweredbytheendorphins
thatcomewithexercise,andthat’swhenhis
lifechangedagain–thistimeforthebetter.
“Beingoffdrugsgivesyoua lotoffreetime.
Youstartsleepingbetterandwakingup
earlier.A newenergycameovermeandI
decidedtojoinmyboyfriendatthetime,
fora run.ThatreleasedendorphinswhichI
cametorealisewere‘freedrugs’ofsorts,”
Costaexplains.“AllI hadtodowashaul
myselfoutofbed.I didthatthenextday
andthenext,untilonedayI foundmyself
standingatthestartinglineoftheNewYork
Marathonwithtearsstreamingdownmy
face.”
ExercisechangedCosta’slifeforever,and
todayhehopeshecanchangethelives
ofothersbyshowingtheworldjusthow
powerfulworkingoutis.Tothisendhe
wroteI AmCosta, notshyingawayfrom
revisitinghisdarkestdays.
“ThroughmylifeI alwaysfoundwriting
was something that helped me. I neverthattherewasnohumourduringtheprocess,
either.“Icouldn’tonlylookatmylifeasone
toughroad,”hetellsus.“Ididn’twanttowrite
a ‘miserymemoir’.I havealwaysusedhumour
togetthroughthingssowhynotmakemybook
aboutthattoo?”
Costais passionateabouthelpingchange
thelivesofotheraddictsaroundtheworld,
ashecontinuestodoanarrayofspeaking
engagements,hehopeshisnewbookcanhelp
sharehisstoryona granderscale.“Addiction
affectsmostfamilies,asdoesdepression.
Whetheryouarethepersonwhois suffering
fromaddiction,anxietyanddepressionor
someoneinyourfamilyis,I wanttohelpshow
thatit is possibletoputdownthesadness,the
drugsoralcoholandpickupa newwayoflife.I
alsomakeyoulaughatmyroadsoyoucansee
thatfunanda lightness is possible given any
hardship.”I
A M
C O S T A
I S
A V A I L A B L EN A T I O N W I D E
Costais celebrating 13
years of sobriety