ILLUSTRATION BY SHAW NIELSEN; RESEARCH BY MICHELLE STRANGE; SHUTTERSTOCK; MOVIES:© BUENA VISTA PICTURES / EVERETT COLLECTION; ©
PARAMOUNT PICTURES / COURTESY EVERETT COLLECTION; ©UNIVERSAL PICTURES
I
By
April White
prologue
RELATIONSHIPS
22 SMITHSONIAN.COM
Data analysis by
Austin Clemens
LOVE, AMERICAN STYLE
A new history of getting hitched reveals the only
thing that people are not in a hurry to do
F YOU meet Michael Rosenfeld at a
dinner party, he’ll probably pop the
question: How did you meet your
romantic partner? “I’m not being
nosy!” the Stanford University so-
ciologist insists. For Rosenfeld, it’s an
extension of his academic research. He has col-
lected answers from thousands of people for
a data set called “How Couples Meet and Stay
Together,” which off ers insight into how court-
ship has—or hasn’t—changed since the 1940s.
Smithsonian crunched some of the numbers
to learn more. For instance, one out of every
four couples who got together this decade did
so virtually, with the internet outpacing every
other method of meeting one’s match.
HOW WE MET
PERCENTAGE WHO MET THIS WAY
1940s 1950s 1960s 1970s 1980s 1990s 2000s 2010s
Through religion
As neighbors
In college
In elementary
or high school
Through family
At a bar or
restaurant
Through work
Through friends
or acquaintances
Online
The average age diff erence
between romantic partners is
4 years
WHO WE MET
16%
of couples are in an
interracial relationship.
For couples who met
this decade, that
number climbs to
24%
SOURCES: STANFORD UNIVERSITY’S HOW COUPLES MEET AND STAY TOGETHER SURVEYS, 2009 AND 2017; IMDB
1940s 1950s 1960s 1970s 1980s 1990s 2000s 2010s
NUMBER OF YEARS
15%
of couples today are in a
MIXED-POLITICS
relationship (a Democrat romanti-
cally involved with a Republican)
MEANWHILE, IN HOLLYWOOD
Analyzing the top-grossing romantic fi lms of
the last nine decades, Smithsonian found that
the best-known big-screen couples are a little
diff erent from the rest of us. Only 7% meet
through friends or acquaintances, long the
most common catalyst for real-world pairings.
People fall in
love at work in
44%
of on-screen
romances.
That’s how
Eddie Murphy
is introduced to
Shari Headley
in Coming to
America.
WHEN WE MET
Couples are
46%
more likely to have met in the spring and
summer than in the fall and winter. June
was the top month.
8%
of celluloid
couples meet
during a rescue.
Splash, with
Daryl Hannah
and Tom Hanks,
is an anomaly:
The woman
(well, mermaid)
saves the man.
In 1962’s That
Touch of Mink,
Cary Grant’s
car splashes
Doris Day with
mud—a classic
“meet cute.” A
minor traffi c in-
cident brings a
couple together
2%
of the time.
DELAYING MARRIAGE
Since the 1940s, couples have dat-
ed and then lived together longer
and longer before marrying.
0
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Years before cohabitating
Years before marrying
DATING
COHABITATION
0
5
10
15
20
25
30
35
40