wfmag.cc \ 57ReviewRated
ReviewRated
encourage you to break away from the tried and
true method of shooting onrushing foes in the
head, throwing grenades, and using your class’
Action Skill the second it recharges. It’s mindless
fun, full of DPS numbers and big red ‘Critical’
visuals preceding every well-placed shot.
The variety of guns and the random attributes
associated with them prop up the repetitive
action to a point where you can play the entire
30-hour campaign without losing much interest.
The diverse selection of planets you visit over
the course of the story certainly helps with
this, too. The dystopian
metropolis of Promethea is
an aesthetic far cry from the
vivid mountaintop temples
of Athenas or the swampy
jungles of Eden-6, even if
nothing about their level design encourages
you to alter your play style in any way.
The narrative, meanwhile, relies on your
excitement for seeing returning characters
show up, deliver bad one-liners, and then
disappear with zero fanfare. The overarching
plot predictably revolves around finding vault
keys to open vaults, as out of touch parodies of
YouTubers called the Calypso Twins settle into
their roles as the main villains. The evil twins
show up every now and then to remind you
to “Like, follow, and obey.” It’s all very “How do
you do, fellow kids?”, and neglects to offer any
social commentary on the negative effect actual
YouTubers can have on their fans. Instead,
it opts to paint them as over-the-top, cynical
monsters. They’re a far cry from the depth and
excellence of Handsome Jack.
Part of the reason Borderlands 3’s humour
grates so much is because it follows Telltale’s
brilliant Tales from the Borderlands. That episodic
adventure was both funny, and created
multilayered characters that were complex and
interesting. Take Rhys and Vaughn as prime
examples; fascinating characters that appear in
Borderlands 3 with almost no personality at all,
they’re simply one-dimensional vehicles for bad
jokes. Rhys’s entire arc is about his moustache,
while all Vaughn can talk about are his abs and
underwear. Beyond this, jokes boil down to a
guy doing a Tommy Wiseau impression for 20
minutes, or seeing characters called Wick and
Warty, where the entire joke is understanding
a reference. There’s one mission where a
character talks endlessly about a guy’s small
penis, and another where you have to listen
to a woman making ape mating noises – which
basically just involves lots of shrieking – for the
entirety of a combat encounter. Borderlands 3
is a lesson in how to annoy the player through
audio alone, taking a gag that
could’ve been 30 seconds
long and extending it over
ten minutes. There’s even
a reference to the USB
stick related to a recently
dismissed lawsuit brought against Gearbox CEO
Randy Pitchford, just in case you were getting
comfortable in separating the art from the artist.
There’s so much downtime where you’re
forced to listen to characters talk at you.
The relief when you finally get back to shooting
guns with ludicrous attributes that turn
everyone into a crimson mist is palpable.
Borderlands 3 excels in this one area: providing
you with a consistent stream of guns with which
to cause mayhem and destruction. The vapid
story and irritating voice work just get in the way.
Still, at least there’s a mute button.“The vapid story and
irritating voice work
just get in the way” Borderlands 3 has a habit of giving you
AI companions. They’re not noticeable
during combat, but you will have to
wait for them to open doors. Vehicle handling is slightly
improved, but vehicular
combat is still dull and
thankfully infrequent.
You’ll wish there were
more fast travel points. A prime example of
Borderlands 3’s uninspired
design is this VR mission that
just adds a blue filter and
replays a previous location.VERDICT
Borderlands 3 offers the
best and worst parts of the
series, along with very little
that’s actually new.60 %