An author and poet,
Clint Smith is completing
his Ph.D. at Harvard.
I grew up thinking a good dad
was somebody who did what
the mom asked them to do.
I saw a tweet a couple of
months ago where somebody
said that their friend had lived
in this house for years, and
there was a soap dispenser
above the sink in the kitchen.
And as they were moving out,
the father came in and was like,
“Wow, it’s amazing that this
soap dispenser has never run
out of soap in all these years.”
The rest is self-explanatory.
It’s important that I unlearn
the desire to feel that I should
be commended for doing
things that I should be doing
anyway. Recently, I walked
into CVS. I was holding my two-
year-old’s hand and pushing
the baby in the stroller,
and people literally started
applauding. I’m cognizant of
the fact that this is wrapped
up in a lot of racial and gender
politics—what it means for
people to see a black man with
his kids. But nobody would
ever applaud my wife. We also
have reams of social science
showing that black fathers are
far more involved than they
are often given credit for. It’s
important for me not to get
caught up in the spectacle of
“good black dad”–ness that
makes me think I’m doing
something special.
I think more men are starting
to be more thoughtful about
the sacrifices being made for
them. It’s a process. It’s not
meant to be easy. But it’s worth
it. Because you are building a
more equitable world that your
kids will one day occupy.
—AS TOLD TO N.C.B.
I’M NOT FOR
VIOLENCE, BUT
I’M FOR
AS TERRORISM.”
Clint Smith on...
What It Takes to
Be a Dad
You write in the book that with all
the progress we’ve made, there’s little
left that feels radical.
I’m glad it’s not illegal to be gay anymore.
But I go to the gay parades, and it’s
mostly all straight people showing their
respect. It’s a good step. But Stonewall
was a gay riot. And I don’t know why gay
people aren’t rioting now.
I wonder what happened. All those
high school students were walking out of
school. That was so brilliant. Why did
they stop? Why aren’t people marching
every day? I don’t get it. It seems to me
there’s more to be angry about than there
has been in a long time. I think we need
to use humor to humiliate and embarrass
the extreme right. I’m not for violence,
but I’m for humor as terrorism.
VOICES OF THE NEW MASCULINITY VOICES OF THE NEW MASCULINITY VOICESOF THE NEW MASCULINITY
VOICES OF THE NEW MASCULINITY
VOICES OF THE NEW MASCULINITY
“
NOVEMBER 2019 GQ.COM 99
(continued on page 106 )
