VOICES OF THE NEW MASCULINITY VOICES OF THE NEW MASCULINITY VOICESOF THE NEW MASCULINITY
VOICES OF THE NEW MASCULINITY
VOICES OF THE NEW MASCULINITY
Hannah Gadsby’s stand-up special
‘Nanette’ was the most discussed
comedy act of the #MeToo moment. Rooted
in the personal trauma of homophobic
violence, it used sharp humor to pro≠er a
devastating critique of misogyny. She’s
now touring with a new show, ‘Douglas,’
that’ll hit Netflix next year. GQ asked her
what she’d like to see more men
understand—and do.
Hello, the men. My advice on modern mas-
culinity would be to look at all those traits
you believe are feminine and interrogate why
you are so obsessed with being the opposite.
Because this idea that to be a man you have
to be the furthest away from being a woman
that you possibly can is really weird.
Why is everyone so scared of not being
masculine? If you consider many of those in
power, those who claim to be “leading” the
world at the moment, you’ve got a lot of hyper-
masculine man-babies, with terrible hair and
no ability to compromise. These are the cool
guys who are taking us all to hell in a handbas-
ket they didn’t pay for.
So here’s a thought experiment: What if
you, the men, looked to traditional feminine
traits and tried incorporating them into your
masculinity?
Women are always being encouraged to
stir masculine traits into their feminine rec-
ipe. We are told to “be bolder!” “Speak up in
meetings.” “Exaggerate your skills.” All that
Lean In sort of crap. So perhaps it’s time for
you, the men, to be more ladylike. How about
you scale back on your confidence? How
about you try not to act in every situation?
What if you tried to refrain from sharing
your opinions or co-opting other people’s
ideas? How about yielding to people walk-
ing in the opposite direction? Or even just
attempting to see them?
How about you try pretending that you’re
the least powerful person in any room, and
that no matter how hard you work you’ll
never be the most powerful. Walk around
like that for a couple weeks. And then call
your mother.
This is the first time that straight white cis
men have been forced to think of themselves
as anything other than human neutral. And
that must be a di∞cult thing. And I don’t say
that to be sarcastic. I can see how it is a tough
spot. It is not your fault. You didn’t build this
mess. You were born into it, like the rest of us.
What I am saying is, I have empathy for you.
And empathy, by the way, is one of the traits
that women are most famous for. You might
know it by its other name: “weakness.” But
don’t be fooled—empathy is a superpower,
and it’s the only one that any human has to
o≠er. —AS TOLD TO N.C.B.
After raising his voice about
his own struggles with depression
and anxiety, the Cleveland Cavaliers’
Kevin Love has become a new kind of role
model, pushing to modernize men’s
attitudes toward mental health—and what
it means to be strong.
I remember 2008, I had made it to the NBA,
and I was like, “I’m super emotional, but
I’m not going to show it.” My playbook from
my dad was to never show weakness. Never
cry. Always show ruggedness, toughness, in
everything you do.
Last year I was in such a terrible place.
And I was just su≠ering silently. After DeMar
DeRozan came out and said he dealt with
depression, I felt like saying, “Hey, this is
what I’m going through.” We still have what
you define as masculinity. We still have that
ruggedness, that toughness. But we’re more
evolved in our thinking. You’re allowed to be
soft. At some point in your life, you’re going
to have to apply some softness or a gentle
touch to something.
Basketball is a very emotional game.
I thought it was so cool when Giannis
Antetokounmpo just let it all hang out
when he accepted the MVP. Water of the
heart, right? He was just crying, crying,
crying. Showing that vulnerability, to me
that’s supercool. It’s special to see that in
our game, we’re supposed to be emotional.
—AS TOLD TO N.C.B.
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coat $6,995
sweater $995
pants $695
Ralph Lauren
his own watch
Rolex
KEVIN
LOVE
The NBA Star
Making a Case
for a New Kind
of Toughness
Photograph by Nik Antonio
Styled by Jon Tietz
