60 Time October 21–28, 2019
until she comes to her husband’s grave. Nearly
a year has passed since Brent was killed in Af-
ghanistan on his fourth combat deployment.
She kneels in the damp grass and begins to cry.
Tomorrow will be their 16th wedding anniver-
sary, her first without him.
A single gunshot took the father of her seven
children, the mayor of her hometown and a dec-
orated major in the Utah Army National Guard.
At times, she believes she’s overcome the worst
of the pain. But then there are other times, like
tonight, when her heart feels as if it has been
wrenched from her chest.
The evening breeze blows strands of Jen-
nie’s red hair onto her wet cheeks. She’s brought
with her a collection of photographs: joyful mo-
ments from their wedding day; military pro-
motion ceremonies; events with their smiling
blond kids. She reminds herself those happy
days weren’t that long ago. But she’s caught in
a grim reality. “I’ve been waiting for things to
return to normal, but in my heart I know that’s
not going to happen,” Jennie says. “I can move
on and have a beautiful future for the next 10 to
20 years, but this is still going to be part of my
life. Brent is gone.”
In an instant, Jennie and her family joined
tens of thousands of others who have lost a
loved one in combat, an unseen society that no
one wants to join or ever fully identify with.
Nation
Jennie Taylor
walks through
the moonlit
cemetery, past
gray tombstones,
faded bouquets
and left-behind
remembrances
Who envisions themselves a widow at 39 years
old? How can you accept that you’ll never again
see the man you built your life with? And how
do you tell seven children their dad is dead?
Facing those questions over the past
11 months has changed Jennie. Her adult life
had been defined by Brent’s involvement in
America’s forever wars, but she herself had been
removed from it. Brent enlisted in the Utah Na-
tional Guard in June 2003, three days after he
proposed to her. In the years that followed, he
was sent to bases around the country for train-
ing missions ahead of his tours in Iraq and Af-
ghanistan. He regularly missed holidays, an-
niversaries, birthdays and key milestones like
their children’s first words and first steps. Jen-
nie, a former schoolteacher, was responsible for
their home life. While Brent was on the other
side of the globe, her world in North Ogden was^
Megan Taylor and
her brother Lincoln,
on their living room
sofa after returning
home from school