FT Weekend Magazine - 10.19.2019

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SMCANDREW

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‘My20-year-oldself

wasanidiot.Imust

apologiseforhim’

INVENTORYALEXANDERARMSTRONG

PRESENTER,ACTORANDCOMEDIAN

FT.COM/MAGAZINEOCTOBER19/

AlexanderArmstrong,49,made

hisnameincomedyasonehalfof

theBafta-winningduoArmstrong

&Miller.Hewasaregularhost

onHaveIGotNewsForYoubefore

becomingthepermanenthoston

BBC1’sPointlessquizshow.

Whatwasyourchildhood

orearliestambition?

To playinapipeband.Ourvillage

pipebandwasthemostshowbiz

thingI’deverseeninmylife.

Privateschoolorstateschool?

Universityorstraightintowork?

Lotsofprivateschools,forone

reasonoranother.Iendedupat

DurhamSchool,whichwaslovely,

thenTrinityCollegeCambridge.

Whowasorstillisyourmentor?

Professionally,JimmyMulville,a

majorfigureincomedy.Hesetup

HatTrickProductions.Wemade

Armstrong&MillerwithHatTrick.

Fromthebeginningofmycareer,

hewaskeentogetmepresenting.

Heopenedupawholenewavenue

formeandbelievedinmewhenI

didn’t believeinmyselfatall.

Howphysicallyfitareyou?

I’mprobably aboutsixanda

halfoutof10.WhenI’mfilming,

myfitnesslevelsfalloff,but

whenI’mnot,Itrytogotothe

gymafewtimesaweek.

Ambitionortalent:which

mattersmoretosuccess?

Ifearambitionismoreimportant.

Inanidealscenario, it’samixture

ofthetwo. Genuinetalent

doesshinethroughbut,inmy

experience,ambitionwillgetyou

muchfurtherthanpuretalent.

Howpoliticallycommitted

areyou?

Ifollowpoliticsavidly.Ilikesensible

peopleofallpoliticalpersuasions.

Myidealpoliticalpartywouldbea

pickandmix.Ifinditmucheasier

tofollowandsupportpolitical

journalistsandwriters–probably

becausetheydon’t havetorunthe

NHSordeviseatransportplanor

providehouses. Whenitcomesto

actualpoliticians, Ifinditveryhard.

One’s naturalstateistorageagainst

one’s politicalmasters.Ipreferto

rageagainstcompetentpolitical

mastersthanincompetentones.

Whatwouldyouliketoownthat

youdon’tcurrentlypossess?

Ahouse.We rentatthemoment–

it’saconstanttransitoryphase.

What’syourbiggestextravagance?

EachyearIhavealotoffunin

MarchandAprilgoingthroughnew

enprimeurwines.

Inwhatplaceareyouhappiest?

IgrewupinNorthumberlandand

wegouptoseethefamilyfora

fortnighteveryAugust.

Whatambitionsdoyoustillhave?

I’ve gotfourboys andmymain

ambitionistoremainalive and

togetthroughthenextphase

offatherhood.Iaspiretothe

emotionalcommitmentand

wisdomthatIthinkthechildren

willneedforthenextstagesin

theirlives.

Whatdrivesyouon?

Family. I’mlongingtoreacha

stageinlifewhereIcantake

myfootoffthegasabit.Iwant

tohave alovely latemiddle

ageandafabulousdotage.

Whatisthegreatestachievement

ofyourlifesofar?

Imanagedtomarrytheperson

ofmydreams.Hannah,mywife,is

aphenomenalperson.

Whatdoyoufindmost

irritatinginotherpeople?

Themostawfulnoisethehuman

beingcanmakeisthetut.Ican’t

bearpeoplewhodon’t have a

capacityforjoyorenthusiasm.

Ifyour20-year-oldselfcouldsee

younow,whatwouldhethink?

Hewouldbejumpingupand

downwithexcitement.Butmy

20-year-oldselfwasanidiot.

Imustapologiseforhim.

Whichobjectthatyou’velost

doyouwishyoustillhad?

ArecordingofthechoirIwasinat

TrinityCollege.Wedidsomeofmy

favouritepiecesandIwasasoloist.

Whatisthegreatest

challengeofourtime?

We have torelearntodelightin

thedifferencesbetweenusandnot

feelthateveryonehastoconform.

Ifpeoplehave differentviews, it’s

tobeenjoyed.Peopletodayare

affrontedbyanythingthatdiffers

fromtheirownthoughts.

Doyoubelieveinanafterlife?

IthinkIsortofdo.Ifindtheidea

ofitcomforting.Idon’t know.

I’mhappytodeludemyself.

Ifyouhadtorateyoursatisfaction

withyourlifesofar,outof10,

whatwouldyouscore?

Forwhatlifehasbroughtme,

outof10.I’ve hadhugeprivileges.

Intermsofmyowneffort,Iwould

markmyselfaboutafive.

InterviewbyHester Lacey.

AlexanderArmstrong’s 18-date

stand-uptour,“AllMouthand Some

Trousers”,startsin November;

alexanderarmstrongontour.com