2019-09-01 Cosmopolitan South Africa

PHOTOGRAPHY

JOE+KATHRINA/STOCKSY

COMPILED BY

TAYLOR ANDREWS

CARS

122

COSMOPOLITAN.CO.ZA | SEPTEMBER 2019

Take it at your own risk, y’all

This quiz says your car

habits are ... interesting

ONE

How often do

you fill up your

petrol tank?

a I wait until my empty

light turns on because

I’m busy, K?

b I’m filling up any time

I see those prices drop.

c As soon as I drop to

half a tank. I’m not

about to get stranded

whilestalkingmyex.

TWO

What’s chilling

in your back seat?

a A cold, soggy McD

chip that missed my

mouth two weeks ago.

bSomedeodorantand

a toothbrush.Gottabe

readyforunexpected

overnightstays.

c Anoldbra.I change

in mycarallthetime.

THREE

Be honest, are you

a good driver?

a Never not lurking in

your blind spot. Sorry!

b My friends trust me

to drive their cars

more than they

trust themselves.

c Honestly, I’m scared

of myownroadrage.

FOUR

What are you

listening to?

aTheradio.Bluetooth

intimidatesme.

bMyperfectlycurated

Spotifyplaylist.

Notouchy.

c AnyhotBeyoncé

trackwilldo.

FIVE

Weirdest thing you’ve

done in your car?

a Paint my nails. I know...

b Check out my chin-hair

sitch in the rear-view.

c Sexthings.

SIX

How do you

wash your car?

a My dad does all of that.

b I DIY detail my

ride ‘cause I want

it done right.

c I take it through

that roller-coaster

carwash.

SEVEN

At a red light, you’re

most likely caught...

a Low-key picking my nose.

b Sending passive-

aggressive work e-mails.

c Sending a ‘You up?’ text

beforeit turnsgreen.

EIGHT

What kind of car

boss are you?

a My car is one flat tyre

away from staging a riot

against me.

b You better put a towel

down if you’re gonna sit

your post-pool butt on

my seats.

c I’ll let you drive, just

don’t throw your trash

in the back. It’s clean

for a reason, boo.

MOSTLYAs MOSTLYBs MOSTLYCs

*Plays A

Thousand

Miles*

M

oo

d:^

a^ f

ull^ ta

nk^ of (^) chea
p-a
ss
(^) p
et
ro
.l.
.
...
an
d (^) a
(^) cu
p (^) h
older (^) that perfe
ctl
y^ f
its
yo
ur
c
iph
.s
Yo u ’r e
the proud
o w n e r o f
a shaggin’
wagon.
Nothing turns
you on more
than fogging
up the windows
Jack-and-Rose-
style in the back
of your Civic.
Beds are
so cliché. 
To b e
h o n e s t ,
w e ’r e
scared
of you.
We don’t even
want to look
at your perfectly
clean car,
let alone touch
it. Please don’t
murder us
for smudging
the windows!
Congrats,
y o u ’r e
k i n d o f
a p r e t t y
m e s s.
Erika Jayne, aka
@ThePrettyMess,
would be proud.
Empty tomato-
sauce packets
on the fl oor
don’t give you
anxiety but speed
limits do.