180 AMERICAN SPYAlthough she clearly didn’t approve of my methods, Marija grudg-
ingly acknowledged my uncanny knack for getting at the truth. But for
some reason, when I discussed Mr. Jerkov’s case in Serbian with “Presi-
dent Clinton,” that was the final straw. After Mr. Jerkov left the consulate,
Marija walked up to me and in a very calm voice said, “Sir, you are vorst
American I ever meet.”
For his part, Joe decided at that point as well that perhaps my “help”
was doing more harm than good. Although it was not yet noon, he asked
me in a very official tone of voice to kindly turn in my Zeleni Flo-Master.
Joe shook my hand, thanked me for my service, and said he would handle
the remaining cases from that point forward. I was free to go.
Just my luck. I got myself fired right when I was beginning to enjoy it.
Although I find the stories amusing, I’m not necessarily proud of my
behavior in the visa section. In my defense, it wasn’t really my job. More-
over, many applicants lied, the conditions were awful, and we were under a
lot of stress. More importantly, smartphones had not yet been invented, so
I didn’t run the risk of appearing on YouTube. Once again, I was spared
public humiliation simply because the stars aligned just right and I was
born into a low-tech world.