TRIBALISM 229the MPs at the gate. Hassan was arrested and interrogated, but he told us,
despite that, he was treated well and spent most of the night playing cards
with his American jailers.
When Hassan made it back to the office, we paid him a bonus for his
troubles. Word got out, and we were afraid other employees might inten-
tionally seek out arrest at the hands of friendly Americans in order to
enhance their incomes. In response, we put up a fake, Occupational Safety
and Health Administration–like poster listing how much an employee
would be paid if arrested ($75), tortured ($150), or forced to “sample the
kebab” ($250) while in captivity. (Old nonconsensual-anal-sex-humor-
habits die hard.)
These experiences, and many others like them, did not in any way
deter ever-positive Hassan from doing his job. We always instructed our
employees to remain home or in the office during intense insurgent activity,
but Hassan usually refused to heed our warnings.
After I asked Hassan to stay home one especially bloody day, he said,
“Sir, Allah has a plan for me. My fate is in Allah’s hands.”
“Hassan,” I responded, “I do not disagree at all, but could you at least
not make Allah’s job any easier?”
Hassan has survived more close calls than anyone I know, and yet he
still walks among us. Who’s to say that his approach to life isn’t the wisest?
Sadiq, also Shi’ite, was the polar opposite of Hassan in almost every
respect, but he treated Hassan like a little brother. Sadiq was a large, roly-
poly mountain of a man who was endlessly upbeat and happy. A natural-
born fast-talking salesman, he would sing, dance, and joke with practically
everyone he met. Sadiq also fancied himself an amateur race car driver,
proudly wheeling around Iraq in his used BMW 3 Series while singing
along to Arabic pop hits by Tamer Hosny. When the KRG once refused
to pay us, in violation of our contract, Sadiq sat reading a magazine in
the KRG finance minister’s office for days on end, often leaving his family
in the car outside the office. Eventually the Kurds realized Sadiq was not
going away, and they reluctantly made payment.
On more than one occasion, thanks to Sadiq’s perseverance, the KRG
paid us over a million dollars in one fell swoop—in cash and in Iraqi dinars.
Since the exchange rate was around 1,100 Iraqi dinars to each US dollar,
the cash payments were made in large packages that resembled bales of