TRIBALISM 239A bit of advice for wannabe terrorists: don’t be distracted by cell phones!
Hassan and Sadiq were able to escape with their heads in part because
the bearded fuck-stick in the back seat was staring intently at a cell phone.
Boston Marathon bombers Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev were caught
in part because they were distracted and tracked by a cell phone and a GPS
device.^4
To my former CIA colleagues and other naturally skeptical readers who
may be wondering whether this entire incident might not have been staged
as a creative way to extort money from the company: I considered that
from the start, investigated the possibility from all angles, and was able to
rule it out. Omar’s demeanor while recounting the ordeal twelve years after
the fact was further evidence that it really happened.
To this day, Sadiq swears he will never go on a diet again, because being
fat saved his life.