New_Zealand_Listener_09_14_2019

12 LISTENER SEPTEMBER 14 2019

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EW

SP

IX

Rather than some future traveller stumbling upon

the tragic ruins of the Government’s once-magnif-

icent works and despairing, the bemused tourist

will come upon the tattered press statement and

announcement speech and the glossy brochure

detailing the new set of acronyms and logo for the

magnificent works and that’ll be about it. “Look

upon my works, ye gullible, and don’t hold your

breath.”

If all the whiteboards on which the Government

has inked grand projects that probably won’t get

off the ground, despite being announced with great

fanfare, were laid end to end ... well, at least we’d

have the makings of a dedicated national e-scooter

track.

To think we used to worry that the Think Big

energy projects had left New Zealand a white

elephant theme park. Oh, for some white elephants

instead of the pink, mirage ones we keep getting

served up.

It’s not just this Government that’s all fur coat

and no knickers. The previous National-led admin-

istration perfected the art of talking about

far-off, uncosted projects as though they

were done deals, bandying five-year spend-

ing figures as though they were current

and re-announcing old, inert projects to

amplify the illusion of a blur of activity.

The most audacious hoax is politicians’

apparent belief in Auckland’s $1.8 billion-

plus light rail and Wellington’s $6 billion

transport leap-forward, which they

talk of much in the way par-

ents of very young children

talk of Santa and the Tooth Fairy.

Only, in this case, it’s the grown-ups

who are struggling to maintain the

fiction that these things exist, against

all evidence.

IDITARODS AND PORPOISES

Nothing in the above projects is

costed, funded or scheduled. We

might just as easily have an Iditarod

down Dominion Rd and a new

porpoise-drawn harbour ferry service

from the Hutt to Wellington as what’s

been announced. These are less plans

than grandiose photo opportunities.

We know now, too, that the

ticker-tape message under every

announcement by Regional Eco-

nomic Development Minister Shane

Jones of a new forestry block, jetty

or roundabout from his Provincial

Growth or Billion Trees funds is,

“Send no money now!”

Even demonstrably urgent social-

infrastructure announcements

such as last Budget’s mental-health

funding boost result in trickles rather

than torrents of new spending – often

for good reason. Lack of

trained staff handicaps

progress in any part of the

health sector. Seasonal,

resource-consent and

labour-shortage issues

dog the Provincial

Growth Fund’s efficacy

and forestry is

similarly logistically fraught.

Trouble is, when occasionally a

much-ballyhooed project does come

to fruition, it becomes apparent that

chronic non-eventuation may be

the lesser of a menu of evils. The

just-approved Hamilton to Auckland

commuter rail service will take two

and a half hours to get people from

Frankton to Britomart. Our leaders

appear to believe that the lure of

Wi-Fi, a muffin on the way to work

and a beer on the way home will

make it worthwhile for teachers,

cleaners, builders, hospitality workers,

or anyone at all, to undergo a five-

hour daily commute.

The dubious quality of what’s

actioned, and the fact that things are

typically announced when they’re

not even half-baked, engenders dan-

gerous cynicism in our politics.

Which, at the risk of succumbing

to a different sort of cargo-cult men-

tality, suggests the advice of the new

Infrastructure Commission cannot

come soon enough.

Chaired by former Reserve Bank

governor Allan Bollard, the commis-

sion joins the chorus of statutory

“better angels” empowered to save

politicians from their own follies

and fears – the likes of the Produc-

tivity Commission, the Children’s

I

t’s time to consider whether the word

“government” deserves the capital G

we customarily give it. As a noun in

this country, it’s coming to resemble

Shelley’s Ozymandias in reverse.

POLITICS

Will the Infrastructure Commission ensure big projects stay on the rails?

Don’t hold your breath

JANE

CLIFTON

Adrian Orr: in infomercial

mode.

Announcements of

things that are not

even half-baked

engender dangerous

cynicism in our politics.