Buddhadharma Fall 2019

FORUM | HEAR OUR VOICES 47

woman at a time when there were very
few women teachers, it was definitely
tricky. People wouldn’t necessarily com-
plain to me, but things would get back
to me about the way I was expressing
myself—comments that I felt were about
being a woman rather than just being
young. So I experienced that as some-
thing I had to make my way through.
As much as I was being encouraged by
others, by teachers, I still had to find my
own inner confidence.
Over the years, I found there was a
certain age of a man who oftentimes
would question me. I was fine with older
men, I was fine with younger men, I was
great with women, but the men who were
my age or a little bit older seemed to
want to challenge me. So I took it on as
practice and even started almost enjoying
it. How could we find a real connection
in the midst of what initially seemed like
a sense of separation?

MYOKEI CAINE-BARRETT: As a leader and
teacher in Soka Gakkai, it was always
surprising when someone would say to
me, “You’re after power.” It wasn’t about
power at all. So I really had to go deep
within to be able to continue, while at the
same time standing up for what I believed
to be the correct way of doing things.
Once I became ordained in the Nich-
iren tradition, the leadership was mostly

occupied by men. Those ego spaces are

still a challenge—I think men aren’t

used to dealing with the way a woman

does leadership versus how a man does

leadership. They don’t like the approach

I’m taking; they think I should be more

aggressive. I have learned to just stand my

ground and continue to move forward. I

try to help them see there’s another way.

MYOAN GRACE SCHIRESON: My teacher

couldn’t see women—wives, mothers—

becoming priests, even though my sons

were in college or had finished college.

He tried to convince me to become a

lay teacher, something that they were

just coming up with in the Zen world.

So I said, “If I became a lay teacher,

I wouldn’t have to shave my head, I

wouldn’t have to go to Tassajara for a

monastic practice period, and I wouldn’t

have to give up my work. Is that what

you’re saying?” He said, “Oh, I can’t

believe you’ve opened your mind in such

and such a way.” I told him I’d think

about it. And then the next week when

we met, I said, “I thought about it. I

don’t want to do that.” That was the end

of his pushing the lay teacher position

on me. Later, when he did ordain me, he

said, “I realized I was hung up on you

being a wife and mother.”

PEMA KHANDRO RINPOCHE: What about

MUSHIM PATRICIA IKEDA HOKO KARNEGIS MINDROLLING JETSÜN KHANDRO ANRAKU HONDORP REV. ANGEL KYODO WILLIAMS