The Boston Globe - 20.09.2019

G10 The Boston Globe FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2019

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FridaySeptember20, 2019 Movies Sports News Specials Poweredby

Mommy, do I really need to go and see the
“Downton Abbey” movie, which opens Friday?
Will fans of the showmisssomething of value if
they just say no? Should we boycott to protest the
revival fever that has stricken the nation?
Here’s the thing. I liked the PBS drama,and at
times,early on, I lovedit. I don’t qualify as a su-
perfan, but I do qualify as a semi-superfan. But
usually when I see a revival movie of a TV show, I
am displeased.The movieversionsof “The X-
Files”and “Sex and the City,” two of my favorite
series, wereunnecessary money-makingven-
turesand that made me very sad. Excellence had

been futzed with, and compromised.

Ah wait, I have resolved to let go of my preju-

dice against revivals. OK, so they’re the walking

dead; they still deserve a chance.I have decided

that, as the moviesequel of “Breaking Bad” ap-

proaches, set for theatricaland Netflix releases

on Oct. 11, I needto begin taking each project as

it comes. There is a strong possibility that “Break-

ing Bad” king Vince Gilligan will not disappoint.

So yes, I am going to see the “Downton” mov-

ie, and I am going to give it a fair chance.Mrs.

Patmore, Violet, Isobel, Thomas,Daisy, Cora,

and, most of all, Lady Mary, I plan to make a call.

Q.I’m 26 and in my first seriousrelationship

withan amazing guy. We’ve been together

eight monthsand it has seemed too good to

be true in many ways. He’s kind, smart, fun-

ny,andweconnectreallywell.However,he

brought up some concerns recently, and I got

scared he was trying to end things. He has a

very demanding job with a lot of travel, and I

only see him about once a week or once every

two weeks when he’s got back-to-back trips. I

see him every timehe’s in town and he al-

ways prioritizes me when he has free time

(often over time for himself or others).

However, he shared that he thinks he’s

taking advantage of me and that I deserve

someone who’s aroundmore. Of course I’d

love to see him a little more often, but I really

can’t complain because he’s giving me all the

time he can, and whenhe’s withme, he’s so

present. I’m worriedhe might be recalling

what happened with his ex froma few years

ago. She wouldoften get upset whenthey

didn’t talk or see each other every day. I de-

sire a bit more space and have sharedthis

with him. He seemedto believe me, and

thingshave continuedto go well. However, I

still have this naggingand maybe anxious

voice that says he was trying to break up with

me. What do you think?Do guysever say

they feel they don’t deserve you out of insecu-

rity? Or is it usuallya sign that he knows I’m

not right for him?

INSECURE

A.“Doguysever say theyfeel theydon’t de-

serve you outof insecurity?”

Peopledo and say all sorts of things.I

can’t tell you whether this particular man

was trying to back out of the relationship. It

doesn’t sound like he was, but it’s not very

productive to guess. All you can do is consid-

er his actions, which are all pretty wonderful

so far.

I do understand why you were alarmed by

the question, but once you answered it,

things went back to normal. He didn’t use

the conversation as a way to stake a step

back.

Maybe that nagging feeling is abouthap-

piness.The talk highlightedhow much you

care about this person, and how sad you’d be

to let him go. You’re nervous because it feels

like there’s a lot on the line. That makes

sense.

Try to breathe through these moments of

insecurity, and whenthat does’t help, ask

questions.Alsoknowthat you can be 100

percent honest aboutwhat you want. You do

like yourspace, but you’d also appreciate

moretimewithhim.You don’t have to pre-

tend that it will be perfect like this forever.

Make sure you let him know how much

you appreciate how present he is whenhe’s

around.There are a lot of peoplewho could

offer you more dates, more hours together as

a couple,but that doesn’t meanthey’d be

paying attention.

MEREDITH

READERSRESPOND:

Do you thinkthis nagging and anxious

voice is related to this being your first serious

relationship? Don’t worry yourselfto death,

if he wanted to break up withyou he would

have. -RICH1273-

He seems genuinely concerned with your

happiness and, no doubt, he’s considering

what’s happenedin the past. If you’re OK

with the status quo, tell him again. Whenin

doubt, be honest. Saves time. JOERILLA

“However, he shared that he thinkshe’s

takingadvantage of meandthat I deserve

someone who’s aroundmore.”I can’t say for

sure,but this reads as if he’s trying to let you

go without being the bad guy. Generally

when someone says “you deserve more,” they

mean,“You deserve morethan I’m willing to

give you.” MCDIMMERSON

^I agree. He knows he doesn’t wantto get

any more involved than he alreadyis and

probablysensesthat she’s head-over-heels

for him.He wantsit to be a soft ending for

her. FREEADVICEFORYOU

From personal experienceI can tell you

that whensomeonetells you that they don’t

deserve you, believe them. EJIC

Columnandcomments are editedand

reprinted fromboston.com/loveletters. Send

letters to [email protected].

LOVELETTERS

BYMEREDITH GOLDSTEIN

Was he trying

to break up with me?

JAAPBUITENDIJK/FOCUS FEATURES VIA AP

Fromleft: Laura Carmichael,Maggie Smith,HughBonneville,andElizabeth McGovern.

TVCRITIC’S CORNER

BYMATTHEWGILBERT

Gut checkas ‘Downton Abbey’ leapsto thebig screen