104 _
Theatmospherein thevacationhomeis frightening.
Hallwaysseemlongerthantheyareandwhentheywalk
throughthelivingroomtogettothefrontdoorandgo
outside,theyfindthemselvesbackin thelivingroom.
What’sgoingonhere?Ultimately,theydon’tfindanything.
Oncethenarratordiscoversa distressingfactabouthis
marriage,hegrabshisdraftingtriangleandtriesin vainto
drawa rightangle.Eventhisrationalactdoesn’tgivehim
peaceofmind.
Thisis similartowhathappenstomesometimes,when
a wholerangeoffearskeepmefromfallingasleepat
night.Youcan’tassuagefearsbypouncingonthemtofind
a pragmaticsolution.It’sbettertoletthemjustwashover
you,andlookthemcalmlyin theeye.Asmymother
alwaysusedtosay:“You’llseethingsclearlyagain
tomorrow”.Andsureenough,asdaylightreturns,the
nocturnalghostsresumereasonableproportions.That’s
alsowhathappensin thisbook.AsSusannadrivesoff
earlyonemorning,thenarratorlooksatthehousefromthe
driveway,relieved.It lookedsodifferenttohimthen.HELENMACDONALDONLOSSANDGRIEVING
H Is forHawkis theautobiographicstoryofBritishauthor
andnaturalistHelenMacdonald,a youngwomanwho
copeswiththedeathofherfather,a falconer,bytraining
a hawk.Hergrievingprocessprogressesapacewithher
hawk-trainingskills.Therearetimesthehawkfollows
commandstotheletter,butatothertimes,hefliesoffin
searchoffreedomandtheauthorchaseshimin a panic,
throughthornybushesandoverfences.
It’smuchthesameprocesswegothroughwhenwe
aresadaboutthelossofa lovedone.Therearetimes
oftolerablesadness,neatlytuckedawayin a boxin our
headsandhearts.However,thereis alsotheprevailing
melancholy.Thegreatthingaboutthestoryis how
Macdonald,whohasbeenaroundbirdsofpreyherentire
lifebuthadnevertraineda hawk,findscomfortin this
animal.Anunusualbonddevelopsbetweenherandthe
hawk;it makesherfeelclosertoherfather.
WhatI learnedfromthisbookis thatgrievingis not
a thoughtprocess,noris it a caseoftakingrefugein
keepingbusy,butanactofdevotionforthepersonwhosedeathyouaregrieving.Anactthatcanhelpfinda happy
mediumbetweencommemoratingandforgetting.I
suddenlyrealizedwhyI likesleepingin mymother’s
pajamaswhenI’mbackatmyparents’housewheremy
fatherstilllives,andmakingteain herteapot.ELENAFERRANTEONFRIENDSHIP
Thehardpartaboutfriendshipsformeis thattheyoften
appeartoonlybetemporary,evenif thisdoesn’tseemto
bethecaseatthetime.Mybestfriendfrommyteenage
yearswasmoreimportantthanmyboyfriendatthetime.
Shewasactuallymylifepartnerandbackthen,I thought
wewouldhangouttogetherforever.Butnow,manyyears
later,shelivesin theUSandI onlyknowa littleabouther
day-to-daylife,andsheknowslittleaboutmine.My
BrilliantFriendis aboutwhathappenstolivesand
friendships,andwaswrittenbythe(pseudonymous)Italian
novelist,ElenaFerrante.
It is thefirstbookin a four-partseriesaboutLila
andElena,twogirlsgrowingupin a working-class
neighborhoodin 1950sNaples,Italy.Thegirlsareboth
outsidersandnolongerfit in withthesocialenvironment
theywereborninto.They’resmartandhavesomuch
moretoofferthanjustgettingmarriedandhavingchildren.
Readingthebook,I recalledhowclosefriendshipsare
atthatageandhowthesefriendshipschangeaslivesgo
on.ElenagoestohighschoolwhileLilahastoworkather
parents’shoerepairshop.Lifeneverstaysthesame,and
thesamegoesforthenatureoffriendships.Thereare
manyotherfriendsthesedays,butthatstrongbondwith
mybestfriendfromchildhoodlivesondeepinsideme.JANE AUSTEN ON PREJUDICES
The brilliant thing about Pride and Prejudice is how British
author Jane Austen depicts the kinds of hypocrisy people
uphold, and how this stands in the way of their own
happiness. She describes a world that is ruled by
appearances and material possessions. Why didn’t Mr.
Darcy chat with Ms. Long? ‘I dare say he had heard
somehow that Mrs. Long does not keep a carriage, and
had come to the ball in a hack chaise’. Austen also makes
the reader aware of the vanities and superficialities inOur website regularly features items about books, ranging from reading recommendations to tips on how to
make more time for reading and online book clubs to join. Go to flowmagazine.com/books to find out more‘Thanks to the way this book exposes the
strange way people’s minds work, I can now
view social events more from a distance’