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Daily Mail, Friday, September 6, 2019(^) TELEVISION
FILM CHOICES
The Wooden Horse, 3.45pm, BBC2
POW drama inspired by the breakout from
Stalag Luft III in 1943 — where the Great
Escape would take place the following
year. In order to conceal the tunnelling, an
ingenious band of prisoners set a man to
work inside a wooden gymnasium horse.
The Levelling,
11.45pm, BBC2
STRIKING feature debut
of Hope Dickson Leach,
part of a notable surge in
films set in Britain’s rural
heartland. Ellie Kendrick
(pictured) is brilliant as
Clover, a veterinary college
student who returns to the family farm on
the Somerset levels after her brother dies,
and struggles to reconnect with her father.
DON’T MISS TOMORROW’S
WEEKEND MAGAZINE —
WITH ITS 52-PAGE GUIDE
TO NEXT WEEK’S TV
If celebrity swaggering were a
sport, the Big Yin would win gold
UPLIFTING QUOTE OF THE NIGHT:
Presenter Nick Knowles ended
on a really positive note on DIY
SOS: Celebrating 20 Years (BBC1).
‘Many people think the
community doesn’t exist these
days,’ he said, ‘but everywhere
we go people come out to
help.’ Three cheers for that.B
illy Connolly is
a nuclear-strength
namedropper. Gazing
at a statue of Eliza-
beth Montgomery,
star of the spooky sitcom
Bewitched, he mused: ‘i
met her once at a party in
l.A. — she was a friend of
Elton John’s.’
if celebrity swaggering were an
olympic sport, Billy would’ve just
scooped the gold medal.
He doesn’t only let us know that
Elton is a pal of his, he’s so blasé
about it that he seems more
impressed at sharing cocktail
nibbles with a Sixties TV queen.
And los Angeles parties... doesn’t
everyone go to those?
He was visiting Salem, ‘the Black-
pool of witchcraft’, at the start of
his travels in Billy Connolly’s Great
American Trail (iTV). When we saw
him at Christmas, mulling over
memories on his Ultimate World
Tour, he was composing epitaphs
for himself and lamenting the
frailties of old age.
But instead here he was, relishing
the privileges of growing older and
flirting naughtily with the prima
donna of a witches’ coven.
She plainly fancied the socks off
him, in spite of being ten years his
senior. ‘i’m 86,’ she purred, and
added, ‘you’re a very handsome
man. i bet your wife says so.’
Billy beamed. if the old sorceress
had offered him a goblet of lovePotion no 9, he might have glugged
it down on the spot.
He was meant to be celebrating
the achievements of Scottish
immigrants to the States, such as
the original Uncle Sam — a busi-
nessman from Clydeside who
somehow became the face of the
U.S. Army’s recruiting posters.
occasionally Billy remembered
what he was supposed to be doing.
He took us to Ellis island, off the
new york coast, for a view of
the Statue of liberty just as the
‘huddled masses’ first saw it from
their crowded transport ships.
But mostly, he wandered around,
smiling beneficently like a Glaswe-
gian Dalai lama and saying what-
ever nonsense came into his head.
in Cape Cod, he met a marine
biologist who has invented a drone
called the Snotbot, which harvests
DnA from humpback whales by
flying through the exhaled air from
their blowholes. i loved the aerial
shots of a mother and her calf,
unaware of the camera as they
cuddled in the water.
Then he went to a bingo party
thrown by cross-dressing nuns whoBilly Connolly’s Great American Trail HHHHI
The Dog House HHHHICHRISTOPHER
STEVENS
LAST NIGHT’S TV
call themselves the Sisters of
Perpetual indulgence. They
appointed Billy their pope. it
was quite dotty, but no one else
makes travelogues like His Emi-
nence Pope Big yin the First.
Just as dotty was a Stafford-
shire terrier called Zeus, one of
the stars of The Dog House (C4)
—a spy-on-the-wall documen-tary about unwanted pets
seeking new families.
He was rubber ball of a dog,
ricocheting off the walls and
bouncing constantly in the hope
of getting some affection. When
he met 6ft 5in Paul, a man in his
40s in a wheelchair, the two of
them fell in love instantly.
Zeus didn’t know if he wantedto turn somersaults, get his
tummy tickled or sit on Paul’s
shoulder, so he tried to do all
three simultaneously.
it was the sort of TV that
makes you afraid to laugh
out loud in case you burst
into tears.
The Dog House is a simple
idea, neatly done. it’s formulaic
and occasionally forced, but
inevitably you’ll want to adopt
every single mutt on the show.
And the final shot, of Paul and
Zeus blissfully asleep together
on a sofa, underlines why so
many people claim a dog really is
man’s best friend.
Unless, of course, your
best friend just happens to be
Elton John.e family farmonCHANNEL 5
6.00 Milkshake! Peppa Pig (R,HD) 6.15 Ben
and Holly’s Little Kingdom (R) 6.30 Noddy:
Toyland Detective (R,HD) 6.40 Fireman Sam
(R,HD) 6.50 Milkshake! Monkey (R,HD) 6.55
Thomas & Friends (HD) 7.05 Shane the Chef
(R,HD) 7.20 Peppa Pig (R,HD) 7.40 Top Wing
(R,HD) 7. 5 5 Paw Patrol (R,HD) 8.05 Floogals
(R,HD) 8.20 Digby Dragon (R,HD) 8.40 Little
Princess (R,HD) 8.55 Ben and Holly’s Little
Kingdom (R) 9.10 Sunny Bunnies (R,HD)
9.15 Jeremy Vine (HD)
11.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors (AD,R,HD)
A man in his 60s is encouraged to cut
back on his 60-hour working weeks.
12.10 5 News Lunchtime (HD)
12.15 Celebs on the Farm (R,HD)
1.10 Access (HD)
1.15 Home and Away (AD,HD)
1.45 Neighbours (AD,HD)
2.15 Killer in Paradise (2018) (PG) ●
(HD) Thriller, starring Jackie Moore,
Barbie Castro and Brian Gross.
4.00 Friends (R,HD)
4.30 Friends (R,HD) Chandler falls for a
woman he meets on the internet.
5.00 5 News (HD)
5.30 Neighbours (AD,R,HD) Paul and
Terese elope to Queensland, but
run into an old flame.
6.00 Home and Away (AD,R,HD) Maggie
contemplates selling the complex
to pay for her husband’s defence.
6.30 5 News Tonight (HD)7.00 Cricket on 5: The Ashes (HD)
England v Australia. Action
from the third day of the
fourth Test in the five-match
series, held at Old Trafford.
(Followed by 5 News Update)8.00 When... Goes Horribly Wrong
(HD) Travel disasters through
eye-witness testimony and
first-hand footage, including
one of the worst air disasters
in British aviation history.
(Followed by 5 News Update)9.00 The World’s Most Expensive
Cruise Ships (HD) Seven hundred
new guests board the Seven
Seas Explorer for a cruise
around the Baltic, though the
British weather threatens to
scupper the Sail Away Party.10.00 Celebs Go Motorhoming: Back
on the Road (HD) Lesley Joseph,
Don Warrington, Melvyn Hayes,
Nick Heyward and Cleo Rocos
traverse Wales, where a boat
trip in New Quay delights, and
a visit to a vineyard is enjoyed.11.05 Secret Life of the Holiday
Resort (R,HD) A party of fun-
loving lads from London check
in, while a beauty contest causes
heads to turn, and a group of
Scotsmen attempt to challenge
some British stereotypes.12.05 Diced to Death: Countdown to
Murder (R,HD) 1.00 The 21.co.uk Live
Casino Show (HD) 3.00 Access (HD)
3.10 Ben Fogle: New Lives in the Wild
(AD,R) 4.00 Eamonn & Ruth: How the
Other Half Lives (R,HD) 4.45 House
Doctor (BSL,R) 5.10 House Busters
(BSL,R) 5.35 Wildlife SOS (BSL,R)(^) ▲ Particularly liable to offend
WELSH TV VARIATIONS
BBC1: 1.30pm BBC Wales Today; Weather. 6.30 BBC
Wales Today; Weather. 7.30 Kate Humble: Off the
Beaten Track. 10.25 BBC Wales Today; Weather.
10.35 Match of the Day Wales: Euro 2020 Qualifiers.
BBC2: 6.30pm Mastermind. 7.00 Scrum V Live.
S4C: 6.00am Cyw. 12noon Newyddion S4C a’r
Tywydd. 12.05 Darn Bach o Hanes. 12.30 Heno.
1.00 Dylan ar Daith. 2.00 Newyddion S4C a’r
Tywydd. 2.05 Prynhawn Da. 3.00 Newyddion S4C
a’r Tywydd. 3.05 Iolo Williams: Fforestydd Cudd
Siapan. 4.00 Awr Fawr: Olobobs. 4.05 Awr Fawr:
Patrol Pawennau. 4.20 Awr Fawr: Da ’Di Dona.
4.30 Awr Fawr: Octonots. 4.45 Awr Fawr: Deian a
Loli. 5.00 Stwnsh. 6.00 Bwyd Epic Chris. Chris
Roberts cooks a whole lamb with fire and smoke.
6.30 Heno. 7.00 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd. 7.25
Sgorio Rhyngwladol. Wales v Azerbaijan (Kick-off
7.45pm). Coverage of the Euro 2020 Group E
qualifier from Cardiff City Stadium. 10.00 Aur Y
Noson Lawen. Ifan Jones Evans presents highlights
from the series. 11.00 Straeon Tafarn.
FILM