Page 62 Daily Mail, Friday, September 6, 2019
NEW Downing Street pet
Dilyn is a rescue dog. Can it get
us out of the mess we’re in?
ROWENA FRANCIS, York.
TENNIS player Jo Konta
won’t win a major unless she
changes her crash, bang,
wallop style.
JOHN SLAMAKER,
Staines-upon-Thames, Surrey.
ALL our families would be
safer on a private jet, so why
does Prince Harry think his is
more important than ours?
B. CHRISTLEY, Abergele, Conwy.
TUNED in for BBC news, but
got BBC views.
JAMES FEgAN, London E11.
PARLIAMENT has turned into
the Mad Hatter’s tea party. How
embarrassing for our country.
BARBARA STEARNE,
address supplied.÷÷÷÷÷Straight to the
POINT
LETTERS
Will of the people
What a way for some of the old tory
grandees to end their careers —
thrown out of the party that they
have championed for a lifetime.
It has been made clear to them that
what might have been considered
successful and valuable careers in
politics means nothing when you are
dismissed by your party for ignoring
the will of the people.
MICHAEL HOLLINgdALE,
ditchling, E. Sussex.
thIs country needs Richard Little-
john as Prime Minister with a Cabinet
made up of ladies from the WI. then
common sense would prevail!
JOAN MILLER, dover, Kent.
onCe this country does manage to
get free of the eU shackles and we
regain our status as a self-governing
nation, our representatives at
Westminster will have a real job to do
and the electorate will be looking for
applicants of a much higher calibre.
Maybe this is one of the reasons so
many of the present shower are so
determined to resist change.
WILL FORROW, dawlish, devon.Ace up our sleeve
It Is just as well the MPs who voted
against Boris Johnson are not in
business, because they would fail
during any negotiations.
the art of negotiation requires a
considerable nerve and an ace up
your sleeve. During his negotiations
with the eU, Johnson’s ace was the
threat he would leave without an
agreement. the businessmen who
sell us everything from cheese to(^) holidays would not allow the eU
negotiators to accept this.
now Parliament has voted to stop a
no Deal departure, it has been made
impossible for the PM to take part in
any sensible negotiation.
COLIN BOWER, Nottingham.
Given up on politics
I aLWaYs thought politicians were
meant to serve their constituency,
but this week has shown they think
we are stupid and they know best.
Don’t we pay their wages and aren’t
they our servants? I’m sure I’m not
the only one who no longer believes
in or trusts our political system.
What has happened to democracy? It
should mean when the majority vote,
even if you don’t like the result, you
accept it?
Instead, the people who didn’t get
their way and the politicians of all
shades, including the speaker, who
didn’t like the result of the referen-
dum have done just about everything
they could to change the result.
the eU bureaucrats in Brussels
must be laughing their socks off.
MICHAEL dAVIS, Bristol.
IF theResa MaY had ejected
rebellious MPs from the tory party,
then Boris Johnson, Jacob Rees-
Mogg and the rest of the eRG would
have been out on their ears.
MICHAEL ALBIN, Blackburn, Lancs.
Grrrr! That really
makes me see pink
Sign language
Wordy Wise
DITTY HARRY — singing
detective.
THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE
UGLI — dubious choice at the
fruiterers.
THE FRIDGES OF MADISON
COUNTY — where the locals
keep their food cool.
WHERE BEAGLES DARE — canine
action adventure.
HALE RIDER — robust horseman.
THE DEAD FOOL — deceased
jester.
MAGNUM FARCE — comic
misadventures of ice cream
manufacturers.
PUNK CADILLAC — favoured
transport of outrageous rock
bands.
SLAY MISTY FOR ME —
instruction to a hitman.
THE OUTLAW JOSEY PALES —
turns white with fear.
HONKYTONK BAN — prohibiting
of disreputable nightclubs.
R. Sutton, dover, Kent.
Follow-up
the story about the limping
dog hitching a ride on the
pram (Peterborough)
reminded me of an incident
that occurred soon after I had
my first baby. I’d happily set
off for the local shop with the
baby asleep in my posh new
pram and our dog sandy on a
lead. not until I got home and
opened the door did I realise
I’d brought home the dog as
usual, but forgotten the pram!
thankfully, pram and baby
were still outside the shop and
I dashed off with them —
hoping no one had noticed.
Elizabeth Thompson,
Murcia, Spain.
This England
thIs year marks the 50th
anniversary since the summer
of love and the Woodstock
music festival in the U.s.
I was confused driving through
Woodstock, near oxford, when
I saw bunting across the main
street that said: ‘experts in
love-making for 400 years.’
I was told a letter ‘G’ had
fallen off and they were, in fact,
renowned for glove-making!
Ms M. Whitaker,
Harswell, York.
÷ SEND your contributions to Peterborough, Daily Mail Letters, 2 Derry Street, London W8 5TT.
ALPHABET SOUP:
Queen Victoria
would not have
been amused.
Seen in the tea
room of Osborne
House on the
Isle of Wight, by
Stewart Wilson
of Coatbridge,
North
Lanarkshire.email: [email protected]
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Write to: Daily Mail Letters,
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email: [email protected]oUR Remainer Parliament is suffer-
ing from stockholm syndrome. MPs
are so terrified of stepping outside
the perceived safety of their eU
prison that, despite all logic and
common sense, they are prepared to
wreck any chance of us becoming an
independent, successful country.
ALAN STEAd, Loftus, N. Yorks.Keep on voting
as a sensible person who voted to
have my country ruled by its own
government, I am saddened by this
week’s votes in Parliament.
We all know they mean a step
forward for the Remain camp
towards stopping Brexit. however,
using Remainer thinking, can I ask
they just keep on voting until they
come up with the result I want?
PAUL MORLEY, Skipton, N. Yorks.
as a long-standing Conservative, I
will never vote again. It is pointless
as our MPs only have their interests
at heart, not what the people want.
they just don’t listen to us.
P. F. BRYANT, Salisbury, Wilts.Mortgage trap
tesCo Bank wants out of the
mortgage arena because it’s too
competitive (Mail). We are led to
believe the mortgage rate price war
is aimed at fuelling the recovery of
house prices, which can only be bad
news for young first-time buyers.
surely as the pound falls against
other currencies, the availability of
easy credit will end in tears for new
buyers, as it always does when the
economy bounces back.
Unfortunately, we are being brain-
washed into thinking we can gamble
whenever we choose, borrow thePETERBOROUGH
extraordinary
MY SON LUKE
by Clive GoodereWHATEVER Luke did, he did 100 per
cent. He was the most loyal of
friends and excelled at sport,
including rugby, fencing, tennis
and golf. Brought up in Skegness,
Lincs, with his two sisters, he went
to grammar school before
studying for a degree in business
management at the University of
East Anglia, where he played
American football for the
UEA Pirates. He joined the Royal
Bank of Scotland in Norwich,
where he obtained qualifications
in corporate management.
Despite promotion to data analyst,after a couple of years he realised
a job behind a desk was not for
him — he wanted to see the world.
He travelled throughout Asia,
Australia and New Zealand, where
he made friends from all over the
world. Luke lived life to the full,
going sky-diving, river rafting,
caving, ice climbing, horse riding,
surfing, cage diving with sharks
and bungee jumping. His main love
was scuba diving and he qualified
as a dive master.
On his travels, Luke had a number
of jobs, including managing a night
club, running pool parties,
working on the new children’s
hospital in Perth and on an almond
farm and constructing a motorwayAnagram
stokes the hero =
Hot shot seeker.
Phil Joiner,
Woodford green, Essex.There’s a place we all have on
our emotional gauge,
It’s somewhere past irritation
but well short of rage.
It’s a strange hinterland,
twixt irksome and annoyed,
There’s no word to describe it
— no adjective employed.
It’s said we ‘see red’ when
we’re particularly irate,
So I suppose we ‘see pink’ in
anger’s much milder state.
Me, I definitely see pink over
something that’s edible
It’s that spreadable butter that’s
not bloomin’ spreadable!
‘Spreads straight from
the fridge,’ the
manufacturers claim,
Yes, if first held for an hour
over a large naked flame!
Like some bright yellow
house brick, it just sulks in
its carton
About as spreadable as the
‘news’ that Scotsmen
wear tartan!
Oh, it loves posing in photos of
grilled corn on the cob,
But on bread it won’t spread.
You’re butter! It’s your job!
But it’d be easier to spread
glue on a sheet of gold leaf,
Give Bruce Willis a perm, or fit
a balloon with false teeth.
It’s nigh impossible to spread
with your average kitchen knife
I just put a loaf top and bottom
and call it a sandwich for life.
Today my left hand was in thekitchen, my right in the street,
No, I’m not a contortionist
— I was trying to read
a broadsheet.
What misguided individual
first brought that idea forth?
A paper you can’t read unless
you’re the Angel of the North.
The only creature that
would read one in a
comfortable manner
Would be an ambidextrous
albatross in a vacant
aircraft hangar.
If you keep getting burgled,
I’ve got the fix of all fix-its;
Paint the exterior of
your house like a packet
of biscuits.
Last week I tried to break into
a packet of Rich Tea.It’d be easier to set a
Wormwood Scrubs
prisoner free.
I just gave up eventually, it
was making me brain sore,
So I took two paracetamol
and sent off for a chainsaw.
It’s a fact biscuit packaging is
more secure than most banks,
It’s akin to armour plating,
they should wrap it
around tanks.
As the Custard Cream Convoy
rolled into the enemy’s view,
By subliminal suggestion they’d
all down arms for a brew.
So a memo to manufacturers,
from this frustrated
old codger:
You’re not wrapping gold
bullion! I only want a
Jammie Dodger!
I’m embarrassed that this
rant has taken so long
to write.
I started writing before dusk,
it’s now 10.30 at night.
But I felt utterly compelled to
put my ‘pink thoughts’
on paper.
I told the missus that we’d
finish what we were doing a
bit later.
Now she’s definitely seeing
pink, I fear a red mist is
pending.
She’s still under the sink
— her thumb in the leak
I was mending!
g. Cope, London E14.I Was speaking on the phone
to my seven-year-old grandson,
Luca, about the recent spell of
very hot weather.
I asked him if he had been
using his paddling pool to
cool off.
he said: ‘Yes, nanny, I have,and it’s great.’ I told him I
wished I had a paddling pool
to use when it gets hot again.
he replied: ‘Well, nanny, I
think you would get one for old
people on eBay!’
thanks for that!
Sheila Brant, London SW14.Out of the mouths of babes