(^40) DAILY MIRROR FRIDAY 06.09.2019
DM1ST
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YOU
SAY
DEAR COLEEN
Britain’s most straight-talking problem page
[email protected]
I’M PINING FOR HOLIDAY LOVER
Dear Coleen
At the end of June I went on
holiday with a friend, and while
we were there we met this great
bunch of guys and I really fell for
one of them. I know it sounds like
a cliche, but we just clicked and it
seemed so much more than a
holiday romance.
We flirted and had deep
conversations, and we slept
together on the last night. It was
amazing and I still replay it in my
head all the time.
He was honest and said he had
an on/off girlfriend back home,
and that he needed to sort that
relationship out. I’ve emailed him
since I got back, but he hasn’t
replied. I keep thinking we were
meant for each other and what a
missed opportunity it would be if
we never reconnected. Should I
forget about him or keep trying?
Coleen says
Holidays are an escape from
reality and I think it’s hard to
recreate the romance back
home. I think this guy would
have replied if he’d been
interested but, the chances are,
he’s gone back to his life and
reconnected with his girlfriend.
It’s a lovely memory and it’s
OK to think about that night, but
I also think it’s sensible to adjust
your expectations of being with
him or you won’t give yourself
the chance to meet other guys.
It’s rubbish he didn’t reply to
your email, even to say “I had a
great time with you, but I’m back
with my girlfriend”, but perhaps
that gives you an insight into the
type of person he is.
WIFE DIED BUT
I WOULD LIKE
TO DATE AGAIN
Dear Coleen
I’m a 79-year-old man and I’m very
fit and active for my age. However,
since my wife died I’ve been very
lonely and would like to meet
someone for company.
I don’t do the internet and don’t
even own a computer, so do you
have any suggestions about how I
can go about meeting people? I’d
appreciate any help you can offer.
Coleen says
Firstly, how great that you’re still
up for meeting new people and
having new experiences – that’s
what keeps us young at heart and
engaged with the world.
There are lots of social groups
for older people, so it’s just about
finding out what’s available locally
and which ones interest you. Visit
your community centre or library.
Also, if you have children or
grandchildren or friends who are
computer savvy, ask them to
search online to see what’s going
on in the area. For example, Age
UK has friendship centres across
the country where you can meet
people locally (call 0800 678
1602), and the Royal Voluntary
Service runs community cafes,
lunch clubs and social events.
Finding a hobby or a class will
put you in touch with new and like-
minded people, and hopefully open
up a new social group, which could
lead to friendship or maybe
something more.
Good luck.
I’d like to add to your
reply to the lady
whose husband is
giving her the silent
treatment (Dear Coleen,
August 21).
For the first two years of
married life I had the same
problem, but I suddenly
woke up and decided I
wasn’t having it any more.
So when I spoke to him,
I answered myself! After a
few weeks of this, he never
did it again and we were
happy for the next 61 years
until his death.
Jackie Watson
Peacehaven, East Sussex
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WRITE TO: Coleen Nolan, The Daily Mirror, One Canada Square, London E14 5AP.
- sorry, but Coleen can’t reply personally.
PROBLEMS? Tell Coleen Nolan about them and
she’ll give you an honest answer... every weekday in the Daily MirrorI can’t stop sleeping with
my wife’s sexy twin sister
Dear Coleen
I’m married to a twin and, although I
love her, her sister is a very sexy
woman with a wonderful deep voice.
Anyway, my wife was in hospital
having our daughter. I visited her one
evening and her twin sister drove me
home. She ended up coming in for a
cup of tea and one thing led to another- it didn’t help that she was wearing
black stockings, which I’ve always
found a turn-on.
We went to bed and it felt almost as
if she’d drugged me! She left, but the
morning after she came back and
stayed for the whole day. Since then,
we’ve often met on a Saturday
afternoon to make love in her car or, if
the weather is good, outdoors in the
grass, which we both love.
I’m in her power, even though I
know it’s all wrong. I do love my wife
and child, but her sister has me where
she wants me. I should walk away, but
she just has this hold over me and I
don’t know what to do about it.
I feel better having shared this, but
I’d really like your advice.
Coleen says
You’re blaming the black stockings and
your sister-in-law, as if you have no
control over yourself. Come on! How
about accepting half the responsibility
for getting into this affair?
Surely, you don’t need me to tell you
that what the two of you are up to,
betraying your wife like this, could
have devastating consequences for
everyone involved?
And you started it while your wife
was still in hospital after giving birth
to your child! If you’re expecting
sympathy from anyone, I don’t think
you’re going to get it.
Look, if you care about your wife at
all, end this affair now and focus on
your marriage – whether that’s trying
to fix what’s not working or accepting
you don’t want to be married any more
and dealing with it in the right way.
If you’re worried about your sister-
in-law spilling the beans if you end it,
that’s a risk you’ll have to take. You
know you should walk away, so do it
and then be very honest with yourself
about why you’re in this marriage.I’m in her power
even though I
know it’s wrong