Spotlight - 11.2019

65

Illustration: Mick Marston

CULTURE 11/2019 Spotlight

T

h e linguistic and

cultural misunder-

standings between

German and Eng-

lish are an endless

source of amuse-

ment. After more

than 20 years in Germany, I have come

across plenty. Join me now as I explore an-

other four everyday topics that have creat-

ed opportunities for confusion and embar-

rassment for English speakers in Germany.

I want to vote

I wasn’t allowed to vote in the 2014 Scot-

tish independence referendum or in

the 2016 EU membership referendum.

I couldn’t vote in the UK because I hadn’t

been registered to vote there in the last 15

years and I couldn’t vote in German fed-

eral elections because I wasn’t a German

citizen. I was feeling disenfranchised. It

was time to do something about it.

I wasn’t the only one thinking about

applying for dual nationality. In 2016 and

2017, a total of 10,358 Britons applied

for, and got, German citizenship — more

than twice the number during the entire

15-year period from 2000 to 2015.

When I talked to British colleagues

who live in Munich, I heard discourag-

ing stories of lengthy waiting periods for

initial consultations. I knew there would

be a long list of documents I would have

to provide. It was going to take time and

effort to become German, but I decided it

would be worth it.

Off I went to the Landratsamt (district

administration) in a small town about 20

kilometres from my home. There wasn’t

even a queue when I got there and I

walked right in. The man I spoke to was

very friendly and helpful. He printed out

a list of documents I would need. The

official seemed to think that a master’s

in German studies was qualification

enough. Phew! I’d heard from a few col-

leagues that they had had to sit German

exams even if they already had German

degrees. And the exams weren’t cheap.

The nice man at the Landratsamt didn’t

think that I needed to do the citizenship

test either. He looked at my university

transcript and said, “I don’t think anyone

who’s done a course in Weimar classicism

needs to take a citizenship test.” When I

told my friends, they thought that sound-

ed too good to be true.

The list sat on my desk for about a year.

Eventually, in the summer of 2017, I set

about collecting the documents and went

to see the man at the Landratsamt again.

There was a handwritten sign on his door

saying that he would be back at 10.30 a.m.,

so I went for a walk. When I came back,

the sign said he was gone for the day.

It took a while, but I finally found time

to visit the Landratsamt again. I called

ahead to make sure the friendly official

would be there. “Of course!” he said,

sounding surprised.

Now, though, the situation had

changed. Funnily enough, numbers of ap-

plications from Brexit-worried Brits had

increased and requirements had become

stricter. I did need to do a citizenship test

after all.

And now to the citizenship test

The hardest thing about doing the test

was finding out where to do it and reg-

istering for it. I couldn’t find a website

that listed all the dates for tests being

held near me. I had to look up each Volks­

hochschule one by one to see whether the

date of the test would suit me. In the end,

I found a suitable date at a school about

an hour from my home. It wasn’t possi-

ble to register online or over the phone.

I would have to go to the school in person.

Of course, the opening hours of the secre-

tary’s office were totally inconvenient for

working people: two hours in the after-

noon on two weekdays and three hours

in the morning on the other three days.

I drove there one afternoon after work.

Although the office was open as adver-

tised, the lady who was responsible for do-

ing the registrations wasn’t there that day.

“But I’ve driven so far,” I whined. “Can’t

someone else register me?”

“No, I’m afraid not,” was the answer.

A week later, I drove there again. I was

directed to a room at the end of a corridor,

where I knocked on the door. No answer.

I knocked again. Still no answer. The door

was slightly ajar, so I pushed it open cau-

tiously. As I was about to step over the

threshold, the lady sitting behind the desk

shouted angrily, “Get out! Get out!”

Normally, I would have respected her

wish, but I was damned if I was going to

waste another afternoon driving here a

third time just to sign a form and show

my ID. “But I just want to register for the

citizenship test,” I pleaded.

after all [)A:ftEr (O:l]

, also doch

ajar [E(dZA:]

, einen Spalt offen

cautiously [(kO:SEsli]

, vorsichtig

discouraging

[dIs(kVrIdZIN]

, entmutigend

disenfranchised

[)dIsIn(frÄntSaIzd]

, entrechtet, vom

aktiven Wahlrecht aus­

geschlossen

dual nationality

[)dju:El )nÄSE(nÄlEti]

, Doppelstaats­

angehörigkeit

embarrassment

[Im(bÄrEsmEnt]

, Verlegenheit, Pein­

lichkeit

entire [In(taIE]

, gesamt

eventually

[I(ventSuEli]

, endlich, schließlich

inconvenient

[InkEn(vi:niEnt]

, ungünstig, unpassend

initial [I(nISEl]

, Erst­

lengthy [(leNTi]

, langwierig

official [E(fIS&l]

, Beamte(r)

phew [fju:] ifml.

, puh

plead [pli:d]

, dringend bitten

set about (doing) sth.

[set E(baUt]

, etw. in Angriff nehmen

sit: ~ an exam [sIt]

, eine Prüfung ablegen

source [sO:s]

, Quelle

threshold [(TreShEUld]

, Türschwelle

university transcript

[ju:nI)v§:sEti

(trÄnskrIpt]

, Studiennachweis,

Studienbuch

whine [waIn]

, jammern