Reader\'s Digest Canada - 10.2019

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much attention to our

conversation because

she asked me, “Have

you tried retracing your

steps yet?”

— KAYLA JORDAN,

Fredericton, N.B.

Elephant’s Memory

My co-worker told me

he got banned from a

bar when he lived in

North Dakota in 1973.

He didn’t try going back

to it for 30 years, but

when he finally did, the

moment he stepped in

someone yelled, “Get

the hell out of here,

Dennis.” That’s probably

my favourite story ever.

— @BMANGALL

My girlfriend has started

calling my hair “the

economy” because it’s

begun showing strong

signs of a recession.

— @REALHAMONWRY

Cracking a Cold One
Many years ago, my hus-
band and dad were fish-
ing near a lock and dam
on the Monongahela
River while shooting the
breeze and drinking
beer. My husband was
about to go on a beer
run when he noticed a
fish in the water below
him. On his second cast,
he snagged and reeled
in what turned out to be
the best fishing story
they would ever share: a
six-pack of beer dangled
from the end of his
line—five cans of which
were still drinkable!
—JUDITH SPINDA,
Bethel Park, Alta.

I was catching up with
my mom on the phone
the other day, and I told
her I’d lost a lot of
weight. I don’t think
she was paying very

5) THE 2) THEGUARDIAN.S.COM 4) FARK.COMER: 1) APNEW 3) PHILLY.COMANSWCOM

ISCONSIN), ES ITTED BY ALICE THOMPOST CRESCENT (APPLETON, WSUBM

Get Me a Rewrite!

All of these headlines

are real—except one.

Can you spot which is

from the humour site

fark.com?

MAN WHO JUMPED

OUT OF FREEZER

AND DIED WAS

COLD-CASE SUSPECT

1

Some Clown Fish

Have No Personality,

Australian Study Finds

2

Former Philly Traffic

Court Judge—Convicted

of Lying to Feds—Seeks

“Fresh Start” in Congress

3

Body Found at Base

of Cliff Near Mount

Rushmore. The Only

Four Witnesses

Remain Stone-Faced.

4

DAYCARE CENTRE

PLANS BRAT FRY TODAY

5

rd.ca 17

LIFE’S LIKE THAT