“I’ll be there by 6:30!” Eight it is.
I’ve had conversations on the phone:
“Supper will be ready by four o’clock.
See you then.”
Hubby will give me a look. “Supper
is at four?”
“No. It’s at six, but I’ve invited
Tinkerbell.”
He nods knowingly.
I’ve even been in the room with Tin-
kerbell and said, “We’d better go,” and
she agrees, “Righto!”
Then she turns around and orders
a T-shirt she saw online, looks up a
quote, checks her email, searches for
her purse, folds her laundry and
washes a few dishes while I wait by
the door.
But as exasperating as it is to have
someone in your life who’s always
late, it’s excruciating to have someone
who is perpetually early. To be even
two minutes late is not an option for
these people.
Hubby is in this category. He times
things to the minute.
“The movie is at four.” (No evening
shows for us anymore. That’s how you
know you’re well and truly retired.)
“We have five stops to make before
that, so estimating 15 to 20 minutes per
stop, not counting traffic or unforeseen
circumstances like a flat tire, we should
leave after breakfast.”
“You are completely insane!”
“Lesley, you know we have to get to
the movies early. I hate waiting in lines.”
“Well, I hate waiting in lines too, but
you don’t see me sitting in a darkened
theatre for three hours before the show!”
“You’ll thank me later.”
No, I won’t. I won’t be speaking to
him for at least a day.
Being too early or too late is an
affliction, but it never seems to bother
the person who’s actually afflicted. It
only affects the poor saps in their com-
pany, who just do their best to show
up when they’re supposed to.
I’d just like to know how early in life
this behaviour manifests. What is it
about our internal clocks that leaves
one person unconcerned about time
passing, and the other constantly aware
of it? If I look at my own family, our son
is very laid back, and he didn’t arrive
until nine days after his due date. Our
daughter, a spitfire, arrived before her
Christmas Day due date, so maybe it’s
hardwired from the very beginning.
I generally gauge how long something
will take and forget about it, the same
way I hang pictures without a measur-
ing tape and throw spices in a stew. It’s
called the “Who cares?” method.
The one thing that does happen is
that this behaviour becomes part of
the charm of the person you love. You
can’t imagine Mr. Early ever being late,
or Ms. Late ever showing up early.
As long as they show up. Period.EXCERPTED FROM ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! BY LESLEY
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