hen HattieWienerwas6 yearsold,her
mother tookhertoa bathhouseinBrighton
Beach. Lookingupat allthat nakedflesh,
she vowedtoneverage. Ofcourse,shesays,
“that vow cannot take effect becauseoneages.”So shemadean-
other vow, that if the universe revealedthesecretsof youth,beauty,
and sexuality, she would spreadthegospeltoothers.Now,at 83,
she isn’t looking for the elixir of youth.“Youhavetorealizethat you
have been given an embodimentonthisplanet, andit’s yourre-
sponsibility to take care of it likea workofart.”
Ever since her divorce three decadesago, shehasbeensleeping
with much younger men, in their20sand30s.“Theoppositeof
old is not young; the opposite of oldis new.” That’soneof hermany
“Hattietudes”; another is to be “uninsultable.If youknowyoucan-
notbeinsulted, then why do you have to protect yourself ?” To be
openandvulnerable means dropping the masks we’ve hidden
behindfor so long. “With elderly people, I look into their eyes and
I seethechild they once were. That child hasn’t gone anywhere.”
Thechildwho grew up in “poor Williamsburg” became a thera-
pistin 1985.“And then I realized it was sexuality and aging that they
wereinterested in—that’s what the patients needed.” Dating cul-
turethesedays is all about the “fuck and flee,” she acknowledges, so
wemightaswell accept the reality and work with it. Once, on a
whim,sheentered an over-50 swimsuit contest at the Roseland
Ballroomandwon. She was in the Daily News the next day being
comparedtoCher. A few years ago, a client encouraged her to try
outfora Dolce& Gabbana ad campaign that was looking for a “sexy
olderwomanin a bathing suit.” She landed the gig and ended up
inVogue,wearing her own gold one-shoulder suit.
Forthosewho find her lifestyle vulgar, she challenges, “What
couldbemorerespectful than allowing someone else to appreciate
you?”She’s been in love several times. “I’m a romantic, like from the
old movies. I really cherish it.” For a moment, she goes to a dreamy,
far-off place. “We slept naked, entwined, the entire time.” So she’s
still looking, and, no, she’s not afraid to love again, not to mention
she’s got “a great tongue and mouth.” jenny zhang