CHRISTOPHER ANDERSON/MAGNUM PHOTOS; AMANDA LUCIDON;PETE SOUZA/SHUTTERSTOCK; EYEVINE; GETTY IMAGES
I
n formulating the content of the Forces for Change
issue, I knew that I wanted to create a magazine that
would speak not just to where we are, but to where we
hope to be. In doing so, I knew we needed to both
open and close strong. Like a beautiful meal: the first
bite sets the tone and the final spoonful leaves you satiated,
smiling, and sometimes (if you’re dining under the direction
of a forward-thinking chef ) even inspired. So how could
I bring this issue to its logical conclusion? How could I meet
that very lofty self-imposed goal?
Turns out British Vogue famously has a back page Q&A
feature that is equal parts informative and whimsical, with
a special guest each month. My first thought was that it
needed to be someone kind, inspirational, motivating, funny,
with gravitas and as much depth as levity. My second thought:
it needed to be Michelle Obama.
So, over a casual lunch of chicken tacos and my ever-
burgeoning bump, I asked Michelle if she would help me
with this secret project.
It wasn’t a huge ask, so to speak, because the back page
of Vogue comprises a few simple questions to garner a few
simple answers – tidbits that would leave you, the reader,
feeling all of the aforementioned sensations of this analogous
culinary experience. She graciously said yes (because she’s
Michelle, she’s gracious), and then very promptly sent answers
(because she’s Michelle, she’s prompt).
What was sent back to me, however, left me somewhat
speechless. A few “simple questions” (which she could have
answered with a sentence or two) were returned to me as
a thoughtful, reflective and beautifully curated narrative – a
gentle reminder not of how but of why she has become such
a globally respected public figure.
Whatever your background, it’s easy to feel connected to
Mrs Obama. There’s something magical about the way in
which she draws you in with her endearingly frank, down-to-
earth personality. When I heard her speak at London’s Royal
Festival Hall last December, I found that I could personally
relate to what she was sharing – and that the young British
woman sitting a few seats away from me, laughing heartily
and nodding in agreement, must have felt the same way.
I share all this with you as a disclaimer of sorts: had I
known Michelle would be so generous in making this a
comprehensive interview my questions would have beenlengthier, more probing, more engaging. I would have
called her and included the banter on these pages – the laughs
and sighs and ping-pong of dialogue as I chimed in. But
to re-engineer that now would rob Michelle’s words of
their authenticity, which, for me, is at the crux of what makes
this piece special.
That authenticity came out of her innate goodwill to
support another woman, to give more than what’s asked for,
to be generous, to be kind – all of these attributes make her
the ultimate force for change. To my former First Lady, and
now friend, Michelle – thank you.The Duchess of Sussex: You sent me the
kindest message on Mother’s Day this year. What
has motherhood taught you?
Michelle Obama: Being a mother has been a masterclass in
letting go. Try as we might, there’s only so much we can
control. And, boy, have I tried – especially at first. As mothers,
we just don’t want anything or anyone to hurt our babies.
But life has other plans. Bruised knees, bumpy roads and
broken hearts are part of the deal. What’s both humbled and
heartened me is seeing the resiliency of my daughters. In
some ways, Malia and Sasha couldn’t be more different. One
speaks freely and often, one opens up on her own terms.
One shares her innermost feelings, the other is content to
let you figure it out. Neither approach is better or worse,
because they’ve both grown into smart, compassionate and
independent young women, fully capable of paving their own
paths. Motherhood has taught me that, most of the time,
my job is to give them the space to explore and develop into
the people they want to be. Not who I want them to be or
who I wish I was at that age, but who they are, deep inside.
Motherhood has also taught me that my job is not to bulldoze
a path for them in an effort to eliminate all possible adversity.
But instead, I need to be a safe and consistent place for them
to land when they inevitably fail; and to show them, again
and again, how to get up on their own.
What advice do you give your daughters?
Don’t just check the boxes you think you’re supposed to check,
like I did when I was their age. I tell them that I hope they’ll
keep trying on new experiences until they find what feels
right. And what felt right yesterday might not necessarily
feel right today. That’s OK – it’s good, even. When I was in1 Michelle Obama in
- 2 A family trip
to Acadia National
Park in Maine, 2010.
3 The Obamas await
the results of Barack’s
senate bid, 2004.
4 Malia, Michelle,
Barack and Sasha –
and dogs Sunny and
Bo – in the White House
Rose Garden, 2015.
5 Election night, 2008
- a symbolic moment
in America’s history.
6 Sarah Jessica Parker
welcomes Michelle to
the stage to discuss her
memoir, Becoming,
- 7 The family
attend church in
Washington, DC, 2013.
8 The First Lady
visiting Mulberry School
for Girls in London, - 9 Discussing
the Let Girls Learn
initiative and support
for veterans with
HRH Prince Harry on
the same visit to the UK
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2
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