2019-08-01_Mindful

m

Audio Extra

Listen to

award-winning

journalist and

writer Steven

Petrow tell this

story as only

he can.

mindful.org/

petrow

Age also took its toll on
Zoe, with increasing frail-
ties that included deafness
and incontinence. One
morning I woke to discover
she had soiled her pet bed
and herself. Such naked
humiliation. Rather than
resist—or attack—she simply
went limp as I bathed her.

Coming Full Circle

After Jim left, I surprised
myself (and the friends who
knew our bloody backstory)
by asking for joint custody.
He said no.
My divorce lawyer
advised me not to fight it,
pointing out that legally
a pet is considered just
another possession (in this
case, Jim’s). In our separa-
tion agreement, Zoe was
listed between “electric salt
and pepper shaker” and
“red bowl.” There would
be no bargaining here,
only more loss and anger.
I signed the agreement,
which acknowledged that
Zoe belonged to Jim.
A few weeks later, I was
shocked to get an email
from Jim telling me his new
condo wasn’t dog friendly.
Was I interested in taking
Zoe full time? In a Malcolm
Gladwell “blink” moment,
I said yes. That’s when
I knew I had come full

I’d have been blind not to see

that what applies to four-

legged loved ones also applies

to the two-legged variety.

circle, accepting her worst

behaviors without trying to

change them—or her.

I’d have been blind not

to see that what applies to

four-legged loved ones also

applies to the two-legged

variety. I realized that my

intention at yoga class—

accept Jim for who he is

and let go—had been more

than a metaphor. For me,

acceptance paved the road

to separation and divorce,

which finally meant being

able to live without rancor

and regrets.

Thanks, Zoe. ●

72 mindful August 2019

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