[you’re almost looking for the
catch. He’s so straightforward and
remarkably easy to love.’ Both agree
that meeting each other was the
moment that emboldened them to
commit to a new way of life. James
had also spent years trying to bury
his sexuality. He grew up as one of
four, and remembers his father re-
ferring to him as ‘the queer one’
when they were young. The sense
of relief and freedom they both
feel today is palpable. Perhaps
most remarkable of all, there seems
to be no losers in their story.
Penny has a new partner and
Ivar’s three daughters are entirely
accepting of their father’s choice,
speaking of it without embarrass-
ment over lunch. It’s hard to imag-
ine a more relaxed set-up. When
James has a spare ticket on a long
haul flight, he will take one of the
girls with him, and they will share
his hotel suite: he has taken them
each to San Francisco, Rio and
Hong Kong. ‘I think they like hav-
ing another man in the house,’ says
Ivar. ‘Better than a stepmother who
could have turned out to be a step-
monster.’ James agrees. ‘It’s one
thing that could have gone really
badly wrong for the relationship. If
even one of the daughters had been
unhappy about it I don’t think it
would have worked. But we all geton incredibly well. I like to think
they can confide in me.’ For James,
having no children of his own was
one of the great sadnesses of being
gay. ‘So this is the icing on the cake.
I’ve got a husband and a ready-
made family. Also Penny has been
so open and kind about it. It has
been lovely.’
Before moving to Bridwell, Ivar
had run Moyns, where he was
brought up. He recalls life there in
the Seventies and Eighties as being
‘like Downton Abbey: we had a
huge staff – two footmen, fleets of
people in the kitchen, and seven
gardeners. It was one of the last
houses to be run like that.’ The
house was left equally to Ivar and
his brother George by their mater-
nal cousin Ivar Bryce, an old friendof Ian Fleming’s on whom the
character of James Bond was partly
based. But in the end it became
too much work and Ivar sold up.
There have been times when
Bridwell, though ‘a fifth of the size
of Moyns’, has also been too much. It
has been on the market twice in the
last five years, last year for £5 million,
but has not sold due to the difficultmarket conditions caused by Brexit.
But now with James in his life, Ivar
has once again committed to run-
ning the house, which he has de-
veloped into a successful wedding-
hire venue. Together they plan to
evolve it further, moving out of the
main house into the lodge which
they will refurbish and extensively
remodel into a large, comfortable
house, allowing them to rent the
main house out for conferences,
away days and more weddings.
It’s clear that James has fitted in
well to life at Bridwell. He is the
more domestic of the two, the
consummate host, forever offering
drinks and setting guests at their
ease. He admits to having a bath-
room full of lotions and potions,
whereas Ivar doesn’t use any ]PICTURE PERFECT
Right, Ivar and
James in the
library. Above,
a photograph of
Ivar’s father, David
Mountbatten,
3rd Marquess of
Milford HavenSo has Ivar’s
decision to come
out been good for
the Royal Family?
‘Well, you’d hope
so!’ he laughs.
‘But they don’t
really talk about it’Ivar wears shirt, £345;
jumper, £325, both by
ANDERSON &
SHEPPARD. Socks,
£45, by HOLLAND &
HOLLAND. Loafers,
£350, by NEW &
LINGWOOD. Jeans, Ivar’s
own. James wears jumper,
£690; trousers, £290,
both by CONNOLLY.
Socks, £16, by FALKE.
Shoes, £360, by
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