D A R
“LISTEN TO YOUR SPEAKING VOICE—IT’S LIKE
The
Six Top
Tweets
Ben (Omar Benson Miller), commenting on
his parenting, on The Unicorn
Arthur (Bradley Whitford),
coaching a deep-voiced choir student,
on Perfect Harmony
A bus-terminal announcer,
welcoming back a recently
dumped woman, on Dollface
Griselda (Diana Maria Riva),
motivating Garrett (Kal Penn),
on Sunnyside
Dusty (Jessica Lange), failing to understand
a controversy, on The Politician
Malcolm (Tom Payne)
and his mom Jessica (Bellamy
Young), discussing his
mental health, on Prodigal Son
Harrison (Gary Cole), standing up for his grandkids’ right to have fun, on mixed-ish
“ALL I DO IS LIE TO MY KIDS—DRIVE
’EM PLACES AND LIE!”
“This terminal is for
women returning
from relationships
only. Please
reconnect with your
girlfriends and
proceed to emotional
baggage claim.”
“YOU CAN CONVINCE
ANYONE TO DO
ANYTHING. I ONCE SAW
YOU GIVE A SPEECH
AT THE OPENING
OF WAHLBURGERS
DOWN ON NORTHERN
BOULEVARD—IT
ALMOST MADE ME
WANT TO EAT THERE.”
“I don’t understand why
calling that gay man
a butt munch was such
a scandal. That’s what
gays do: munch butts
and celebrate Halloween.”
“I’m afraid pills
alone will not fix what
is wrong with us.”
“ Water guns are every
child’s Second
Amendment right.”
“If you take
enough they will.”
1 / Matrix 4 will be
great if it ignores
the events of
the last 3 Matrix
movies and
is John Wick 4.
Comedian Anthony
Jeselnik, reacting to
the announcement
of a new Matrix film
@anthonyjeselnik
2 / Popeyes gotta
buy the rights to
Spider-Man.
Desus & Mero host
Desus Nice, finding
a solution to
the internet’s two
biggest discussions
@desusnice
3 / I like to walk
into john’s deal
meetings and
say ‘I’ll do it for
cheaper’ and
it’s worked twice.
Bring the Funny
judge Chrissy Teigen,
who is married to
John Legend, sharing
her business strategy
@chrissyteigen
4 / Let's get 1 thing
straight. I'm not
THAT Steve King.
Author Stephen King,
trying to distance
himself from con-
troversial politician
Steve King
@StephenKing
5 / There is literally
no violence or even
very much action
in Mindhunter, it’s
like four people
in blazers talking in
gray rooms for 45
minutes but it’s
the scaredest I’ve
ever been in my
whole life.
Actress Mindy Kaling,
being creeped out
@mindykaling
6 / President
Trump intervened
to get A$AP
Rocky freed from
Swedish prison.
Finally, a win for
Trump involving $.
Conan host Conan
O’Brien, cracking
a joke at Donald
Trump’s expense
@ConanOBrien
1 2 3 4 5 6
THIS FALL’S
SHARPEST LINES
Sound Bites
ATE MUFASA.”
4 OCTOBER 2019 EW ● COM
THE POLITICIAN
: BETH DUBBER/NETFLIX;
PERFECT HARMONY
: JUSTIN LUBIN/NBC;
SUNNYSIDE
: COLLEEN HAYES/NBC;
PRODIGAL SON
: DAVID GIESBRECHT/FOX
