2019-10-01 Cosmopolitan

This is an @ to all you front-claspers out there.

By SARAH WELDON

The way you put on your bra

seriously says SO much about you

1. You put
   your arms
   through
   before clasp-
   ing it in the
   back...
   You’re a ninja at
   work, getting shit
   done without
   trash-talking your
   office nemesis.
   Sure, you’ve got
   opinions, but you
   prefer a subtler
   subtweet style.
   #ClassyBetch


2. You clasp
   it in the back,
   then p u t
   your arms
   through...
   High-key depend-
   able and nurtur-
   ing—you’re like
   the human
   version of your
   parents’ cable
   log-on and an
   SPF moisturizer
   combined. We
   don’t know you,
   but we’d date you
   and let ya meet
   our dog children.


3. You clasp
   it, then STEP
   INTO IT...
   First of all:
   What?! Sec-
   ondly, even
   though your bra
   routine is maybe
   the most extra
   thing ever, you
   avoid a red lip,
   thirst trapping,
   and anything
   else that draws
   attention. Your
   casual personal-
   ity makes you
   a delight to
   be around, and
   we’re pretty
   sure the sun
   does shine out
   of your ass.


4. You clasp
   it in the front
   and twist it
   around...
   You’re obsessed
   with personal
   presentation.
   Exhibit A: Your
   IG grid is per-
   fectly curated
   with the same
   VSCO filter (C1,
   FTW). Only buy-
   ing bras with an
   actual front
   clasp? You’re a
   control freak—in
   a cute way.


5. You clasp
   it before pull-
   ing it over
   your head...
   You are incredi-
   bly chill and love
   le simple things,
   like your daily
   vanilla latte.
   That’s why you
   have rolled with
   the same crew
   for years and
   should definitely
   get a No New
   Friends tat on
   your face. Sorry,
   we don’t make
   the rules.

Watch out: Your bra

is bringing the receipts.

Karen Donaldson,
body-language
coach and author
of Speak Like You
Breathe

OUR^

EXPERT

you

22 Cosmopolitan October 2019

NA

BI^

TA

NG

/S

TO

CK

SY

.