2019-10-01 Cosmopolitan

Your questionable character

crush is the window to your soul

These guys are supposed to be gross...so why are they...hot?

iny sunglasses. The Masked Singer. Shoes

with separated toes. Americans are into

some extremely questionable stuff. We

can probably chalk a lot of this up to strange

personal taste, but our collective infatuation

with kinda yucky but sorta hunky fictional guys is worth

more than an eyebrow raise. Honestly, we *know* we

shouldn’t lust over them. And if we stopped thirsting and

started thinking about why they’re so messed up, we’d

probably (maybe) be turned off. But that wouldn’t be

any fun, and besides, most of these nasties have at least

one redeeming quality, right? Right???

Atl

eastt

hey’renothol

ding

fishintheirTinder

pic

s.

By HANNAH CHAMBERS

6.

5.

1.

4.

2.

Clown makeup,

greasy green

hair, and a rusty

three-piece

suit are what

nightmares are

made of. Yet...

those dimples

magically cancel

it all out.

WHAT IT SAYS

ABOUT YOU:

You don’t stay sad

for long, which

is great—and

a little unnerving.

You can go from

crying in the club

to screaming

Rihanna lyrics

into your front

camera in a

minute flat.

1.

YOUR CRUSH:

THE JOKER

Does the “B” in

“BDSM” stand for

“Bane”? (Actually,

we probs shouldn’t

joke about the

mask. This villain’s

backstory is

BRUTAL.)

WHAT IT SAYS

ABOUT YOU:

You (loudly)

announce every

time your phone

battery hits 69

percent. There’s

legit nothing you

can’t turn into a

sexual innuendo.

2.

YOUR CRUSH:

BANE

Like a SoundCloud

rapper, he has

basically

formed an entire

personality around

being very into

flashy jewelry

and death.

WHAT IT SAYS

ABOUT YOU:

You definitely

went through

a significant emo

phase in middle

school and

probably still

have a few

My Chemical

Romance graphic

tees at your

parents’ house.

5.

YOUR CRUSH:

THANOS

He’s a meathead

but also the sort

of guy who’d

suggest watching

The Goldfinch

instead of

It Chapter Two

because he’d

rather feel stuff

than jump out

of his seat.

WHAT IT SAYS

ABOUT YOU:

As cliché as it

sounds, your

affection for The

Hulk means that

you always look

for the good in

people (and/or

in mutants).

3.

YOUR CRUSH:

T H E

INCREDIBLE

HULK

He’s an attorney

who loves losing

cases and brag-

ging about being

voted Least Likely

to Succeed. He’s

also a famously

passionate lover....

WHAT IT SAYS

ABOUT YOU:

You’re the friend

people text when

they want advice

but secretly want

permission to

do The Bad Thing.

You’ll always

suggest happy

hour over saving

money.

6.

YOUR CRUSH:

GOMEZ

ADDAMS

He’s basically

Lori Loughlin in

that he bought his

son’s way onto the

Quidditch team.

But, okay, that

magic stick he’s

always handling is

pretty sexy.

WHAT IT SAYS

ABOUT YOU:

Honestly, anyone

who’s into Lucius is

just confused. It’s

his hair you want,

not his heart.

Do some soul

searching and get

back to us.

4.

YOUR CRUSH:

LUCIUS

MALFOY

AL

L^ IM

AG

ES:

A

LA

MY

.

36 Cosmopolitan October 2019

celeb