26 The Australian Women’s Weekly|OCTOBER 2019
workfromsensationalpeoplelikeBrené
Brown,vulnerabilityis nowseenasa
keytogoodmentalhealth.”
Thenightbeforeourinterview,Judi,
PetraandherdaughterVenetia,16,were
allat NewZealandFashionWeek,three
generationsofverystylishwomen.Given
theimportanceofallowingwomenthe
spacetobekindtothemselves,howdoes
Petrafindraisinga daughter(aswellas
sonsJude,14,andTheo,12)tonotbe
tooquicktoself-judge?
“Essentially,youneedto practise
whatyoupreach,”shesays.“Because
unfortunately,it turnsoutit’strue– our
childrendon’tlistento whatwesayas
muchas theylookat whatwedo.Sothe
truechallengeforme,andI usetheword
‘wero’a lotnow,in termsof challenge,
thetrueweroformein termsof mother/
daughterrelationshipsis to bethekindof
mother,womanandpersonthatI aspire
formydaughterto become.”
Partofthishasincludedtakingthe
plungeandundertakingtheintensiveTe
ReoMa ̄orilanguagecoursewithJudi.
Goingbacktoschoolasfullygrown
adultswasnotaneasytaskforeitherof
them.Thereis a lotoflifetojugglein
ordertofindthetime,plustheactual
learningitself.
“Ifindit confronting,notknowingthe
answers,”Petrasays.“There’sa lottolet
goofin learninga language.Butthat’s
whyyou’rethere– you’rethereasa
studentofthelanguage.Butit’shard– I
remembersayinga wordonceandI was
probablycorrectedonmypronunciation
17 times.”Shelaughs.“Youjusthaveto
takea deepbreathandtryagain.”
BothJudiandPetrahavelongwanted
to studyTeReoMa ̄ori.WhenJudifirst
wentto highschool,sheaskedif she
couldlearnit andwastoldno,French
wastheonlylanguageoptionavailable.“I
thought,‘Howridiculous!’soI wentand
boughtmyselfa weeMa ̄oridictionary.”
Growingupin Picton,familylifewas
wellintegratedwithactivitiesonthe
localmarae.“Whenmymumwasin her
70s,shewentaroundtheSouthIsland,
singingwiththeMa ̄oriWomen’sGroup.
Shewasthisslim,white-hairedPa ̄keha ̄
woman,”Judirecalls.Afteruniversity,
Judiwentontodoa Ma ̄oricultural
coursewhenshefirstmovedto Auckland
but found it a less welcoming