62 The Australian Women’s Weekly|OCTOBER 2019
Rock icon
PHOTOGRAPHY BY GETTY IMAGES, JOE QUIGG/KINTZING/RAVEN&SNOW AND NORMAN SEEFF.Hotel(whichhadat onetimeshelteredDylan
Thomas,JanisJoplin,JacksonPollock,Bob
Dylan,WilliamBurroughsandmore)and
socialisingonthefringesof AndyWarhol’s
Factoryset,withbeatpoetsandin the
burgeoningpunkmovement.Robertbecame
famousforhisboundary-pushingphotography
andPatti– withherdisregardforconvention,
hermystical,musicalraptures,herliterary
allusions– becameaniconicfigurein music.
Thenonenight,at a hot-dogcafein Detroit,
shewasintroducedto a guitarist,Fred
“Sonic”Smith.Sheknewlittleof hismusic
butrememberedlaterthatin herteensshe’d
cuta pictureof himoutof a magazineand
stuckit onherwall.Pattifellforhimhard.
“Wordscannotexpress,”shesaysnow,
stillwithanimpishsmile.“I sawhimandthe
momentthatI sawhim– I hardlyevensaw
him– I felthim.Andin thatfirstmoment,I
knewI wasgoingto marryhim.I didn’teven
wantto getmarried...Therewasa mutual
senseof almostsurrender.It’slikewhenyou
completelyembracea religion.I thinkthe
wordIslammeanssurrender.Thereis a mutual
unconditionalpact.It doesn’tmeanthatyou
agreeoneverything.It doesn’tmeantherewon’t
bedifficulttimes,becausetherecertainlyare
andwere.It justmeansthatthecanopyabove
allthatis a highcanopyandthethingsthat
happenbeneathit arenotgoingto shatter that
shelteringcanopy.”
InTheYearof theMonkey, she
describestheunicornas “ametaphor
fortheterriblepowerof love”.
WhilePattiadmitsthata loveof
thismagnitude“sometimesrequires
sacrifice”,shemaintainsthat,in her
marriageto Fred,shegainedfarmore
thanshelost.“I canonlysay,”she
adds,“thathewastheone.”
Whichis why,at theheightof her
fame,Patticompletelydisappeared
fromthepubliceye.ShemarriedFred
andraisedtwochildren(Jacksonand
Jesse)in a lakesideMichigansuburb.
Whenfamilyfinancesweretight,in ’88,shereleasedthe
powerful,contemplativeDreamof Life,thenwentsilent
again.TherewereyearsspentexploringtheAmerican
coastline,walkingalongbeaches,caringforchildren,
risingat fivein themorningto workbecausePattinever
stoppedwritingin allthoseyears.
Thoseyearswerealsopunctuatedbygrief.In 1989,Robert
wasfelledbyAIDS-relatedillness.Then,towardstheend
of ’94,Freddiedof heartfailure.Jacksonwas 12 andJesse
seven.Patti’sbrother,Todd,whomsheadored,offeredto
move in with the family and help raise the children, but
justa fewweekslater,hetoowasgone,
aftera fatalstroke.Thesethreelosses
reverberatedthroughthefamilyforyears.
“I don’treallybelievethattimehealsall
wounds,”Pattisays.“Griefis nota linear
thingthatstartsreallydeepandthengets
easier.Sometimesyoudon’tnoticeit and
thentwoyearslater,you’rewalkingdown
thestreetandthelossof – formeit could
bemybrotherormymotherormyhusband- is sooverwhelmingthatit’sas if I’djust
lostthem.
“I’velearntto thinkof it almostlikeyou’rea shipcaptain
andyou’remanningyourownlittleboat.Sometimesin your
lifevoyage,thewatersareverycalmandsteady,thenallof a
suddena stormwhipsupandit’sturbulentandyouhaveto
getthroughthatstormandjustkeepon.Eventhoughit’sa
simplemetaphor,lifeis reallylikethat.Youhaveto beready
to embraceit all.”
AfterFred’sdeath,Pattiwentbackintothestudioand
ontotheroad.Shealsounleashedthereamsof writingshe’d
workedonallthoseyearsin Michiganandpublisheda string
of books, including the autobiographicalJust Kids, which
“You have to
just keep on
...to be ready
to embrace
it all.”