attacked a lot of people. The pact consists of the new head
of the Vatican, Pope Victor III ‘the Holy’, Queen Ekaterina
‘Daughter of the Devil’ of Croatia, Duke Miroslav ‘the Evil’
of Duklja, and Serene Doge Vitale II of Venice. And, look,
guys, maybe work on your branding a bit, because you’re
sending some very mixed signals right now.
I’ve played nicely with Rome up until now, but this
latest unholy alliance has persuaded me to do something
catastrophically stupid. To explain: you can’t just start a
war for territory inCrusader Kings II. First, you need a
reason. For Matilda right now, the reason tends to just be
‘infidels’, followed by a shrug and a new chunk of the
Middle East. But in Europe you need a claim. For many
decades now, Matilda’s Chancellor has been attempting to
fabricate a claim to Rome. He hasn’t succeeded, either
because he’s meeting resistance, or because Matilda keeps
changing her mind. I’m going to force the issue.FAD DIETRICH
Using the console, I fabricate a strong claim on Rome. I
can’t force Matilda to use it, but it’s there if she needs it.
I’m intrigued to see what she’ll do. She’s been pro-Pope
throughout her rule. Will the defensive pact and her
insatiable ambition overrule that instinct? It seems as if it
won’t. She launches a war, but not against the Vatican.
Rather, she’s going after the Holy Roman Empire in a war
to have its ruler, Kaiser Dietrich, excommunicated.
Matilda wins, Dietrich is excommunicated, and a new
ruler takes charge of the HRE. Thus, as in pretty much
every Papal war Matilda has fought, nothing of note was
achieved. Matilda’s army took minimal losses, which is
fortunate as the King of Italy is back for a second round.
He’s still in a bit of a strop over all of the bits of Italy that
Matilda owns, and hopes he can use the distraction of her
war against the Holy Roman Empire to sneak away with
Tuscany. It doesn’t work. King Adalberto is repelled – sent
away to lick his wounds for another ten years.
The war isn’t without casualties, though. On
September 15, 1101, at the age of 55, Matilda is killed in
battle by Bishop Tommaso of Pinerolo. Setting aside what
a tragedy this is for the Kingdom of Sardinia and Corsica
as a whole, I’ll just note that it’s entirely fitting given her
love of war, the Church and wars for the Church that she
was killed in a battle with some bishop.
As Matilda’s daughter, the 22-year-old Tomasina,
ascends to the throne, I step in to help quash an uprising
in Arabia by using the console to throw its leader in jail.
Things probably aren’t great for the peasants of that
remote branch of the Kingdom, but it’s Tomasina’s firstday on the job and she’s got a funeral to arrange and a war
against the Italians to finish. Frankly, this is not the time.
If anything, Tomasina’s life is even more remarkable
than her mother’s. But her first few years are difficult.
Remember Amr of the Fatimid Sultanate? It turns out he
died in battle at the age of 21. I know this because it’s his
brother, Caliph Ashraf, who declares the war to reclaim
Jerusalem. Amazingly, he wins. Ashraf is a far better
tactician than his brother, and has used these past two
decades to train a sizeable army. Tomasina, meanwhile,
not only isn’t as battle hardened as her mother, but isn’t as
beloved by her vassals, meaning she has access to fewer
troops overall. She does technically still have the title of
Queen of Jerusalem, but it’s hypothetical – a right of
conquest granted by a Pope.
Tomasina spends the next few decades acquiring and
then losing various bits of the Muslim world. She gains
Kabylia in North Africa and even, for seemingly no
reason, goes to war against the Jyadid Emirate for control
of Denia in Spain. I know it can be hard to follow in your
parents’ footsteps what with the inevitable unfair
comparisons, but I do feel Matilda had a better grasp of
the difficulties of creating such a spread out empire. Sure,
there was the Jerusalem thing, but that was the Pope’s
fault. And I guess there was also Provence and Nice... OK,
fine. This whole family is hopeless at geography.
Despite – or maybe because of – the constant warring
against Muslim-ruled nations, Tomasina becomes
sympathetic to Islam. And yet, she’s also a dutiful
Catholic, and so in 1131, at the age of 50, she launches
herself with gusto when a new Crusade is called. She’s so
gung-ho about the business that, as with her mother
before her, she’s gifted Jerusalem. The Kingdom of
Sardinia and Corsica is now larger than it’s ever been.
Tomasina gains the stressed trait.DOTING DOHTOR
Soon after, despite over 30 years of marriage, Tomasina
announces that – as with most of her siblings – she’s gay.
Her lover is Sifflæd Edmundsdohtor, an otherwise
unremarkable courtier of Count Clemence of Cornwall. I
guess they met during the Crusade? How romantic. Later,REIGN CHECK The rulers of Sardinia and Corsica
MATILDA
Reign: 1069 – 1101
Death: Killed in
battle, age 55
Notable traits:
Ambitious, diligent,
stressed
Achievements:
Founded the
Kingdom.TOMASINA
Reign: 1101 – 1154
Death: Depression,
age 74
Notable traits:
Stressed, possessed,
sympathy for Islam
Achievements: Lost,
recaptured and
re-lost Jerusalem.RAINERO
Reign: 1154 – 1163
Death: Natural
causes, age 54
Notable traits:
Stressed, cruel,
drunkard
Achievements: Got
deposed for being a
petulant gobshite.ANTONIA
Reign: 1163 – ????
Death: Still alive
and kicking
Notable traits:
Gregarious,
erudite, weak
Achievements: Won
a Crusade at 18
years of age.120 JUNE 2018
PERSONAL ADVENTURES IN GAMES
DIARY
Meanwhile, the Holy
Roman Empire falls apart.