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Daily Mail, Thursday, August 29, 2019What a high old time... getting
stoned on licence-payers’ money
FAILED FORMAT OF THE WEEK: ‘I
hate this bit,’ whispered Frank,
a contestant at the start of the
15-minute debrief on Interior
Design Masters (BBC2). So do we
all, Frank. The last quarter of an
hour is like sitting in on office
appraisals. Dull, dull, dull.M
ORe pioneering
research from the
BBC’s Asinine
university of
Needless Tests
and Inept experiments
(Auntie), as Dr Javid Abdel-
moneim blew a stash of
licence-payers’ cash to find
out what would happen if he
took bagfuls of illicit drugs.
The less-than-astounding results
were revealed at the end of an
hour-long horizon documentary,
Cannabis: Miracle Medicine Or
Dangerous Drug? (BBC2).
True, there was some pre-existing
medical evidence that might
have led an astute observer to
predict what might happen when
Dr J inhaled several lungfuls of
skunk vapour.
As an 18-year-old on a back-
packing jaunt, he had tried a joint
or two. And he got stoned.
But that was nearly 20 years ago.
he’d barely begun his medical
studies. Surely the effects would
be different, now he was a jolly
important A&e specialist.
For 60 minutes we watched Dr J
giggling, getting edgy, shivering,
dozing off, staggering down corri-
dors, staring baffled at computer
screens, freaking out, sweating
buckets and scoffing cookies.
‘I can see my teeth,’ he droned.
Analysing the findings, psycholo-
gists at King’s College Londonrevealed that the stronger the
blend of cannabis, the higher Dr J
got. Amazing.
But this was just one isolated
experiment, too small to be conclu-
sive. If only it was possible to bring
together 100,000 subjects and
expose them all to the effects of
cannabis, for an entire weekend.
The experience could be
enhanced with music, and staged
somewhere with ‘spiritual’ signifi-
cance... such as, oh I don’t know,
maybe Glastonbury?
When you think how long and
how enthusiastically some humans
have been consuming cannabis, it’s
remarkable that science under-
stands so little about its effects.
That’s even more surprising given
that, historically, the most avid
users are university students.
All the evidence Dr J could find
was strictly anecdotal. he met the
desperately relieved mother of a
seven-year-old boy whose life-
threatening epilepsy was kept in
check by cannabis — though no
one could tell her quite how the
drug helped her child’s brain.
And he explored a former orchid
farm in Odense, Denmark, whereCannabis: Miracle Medicine Or Dangerous Drug? HHIII
Who Do You Think You Are? HHHII
CHRISTOPHER
STEVENS
LAST NIGHT’S TV
acres of marijuana were grown
— strictly for medical purposes,
of course. ‘Welcome to Mars,’
giggled the chief grower.
The Doc’s conclusion was that
cannabis has two active ingredi-
ents, CBD and ThC, and one
regulates the other. ThC gets
people high — sometimes
terrifyingly so. But he failed tolearn whether CBD on its own,
which can now be purchased
legally, has any medical benefits.
Is it an effective painkiller or
mood stabiliser? Dr J didn’t even
ask. he was probably afraid of
harshing his mellow... man.
There’s nothing mellow about
Paul Merton, a man with the
mistrustful gaze of a camel. histemper was not improved by the
weather, as he traced his ances-
tral tree on Who Do You Think You
Are? (BBC1) and ended standing
over an unmarked grave in a
Cardiff cemetery in a downpour.
his mother’s family story was
especially sad. The daughter of a
World War I veteran, she and her
sister were fostered after their
mother died in childbirth. It was
all brutally cruel, too hard to be
entertaining. The only gentle
moments came as Paul thumbed
through a family album,
reminiscing about his parents.
I could happily watch an entire
programme of somebody’s dis-
coloured Polaroids and scratchy
Kodachrome slides, a glimpse of
the recently vanished past.TELEVISION
when one of her clients — bass player Lita
— commits suicide. Why would Lita quit
her upcoming tour by text, and then hang
herself? Jennifer is swiftly on the case —
while her architect husband has a fight on
his hands with the town teens.Still Alice, 2.45am, Ch4
HEARTBREAKING drama starring
Julianne Moore (pictured) as a linguistics
professor, wife,
and mother of
three grown-
up children
(Kristen
Stewart, Kate
Bosworth
and Hunter
Parrish), who is
diagnosed with
early onset
Alzheimer’s
shortly after
her 50th
birthday.
Moore won an
Oscar as the woman struggling to hold
on to her identity, but slowly fading away.(pictured) as a linguisticsoman struggling to holdCHANNEL 5
6.00 Milkshake! Peppa Pig (R,HD) 6.15 Ben
and Holly’s Little Kingdom (R) 6.30 Olly the
Little White Van (R,HD) 6.35 Noddy: Toyland
Detective (R,HD) 6.45 Fireman Sam (R,HD)
6.55 Thomas & Friends: Big World! Big
Adventures! (R,HD) 7.10 Shane the Chef
(R,HD) 7.20 Peppa Pig (R) 7.40 Top Wing
(R,HD) 7. 5 5 Paw Patrol (R,HD) 8.05 Digby
Dragon (R,HD) 8.25 Little Princess (R) 8.40
Shimmer and Shine (R,HD) 8.55 Floogals
(R,HD) 9.10 Sunny Bunnies (R,HD)
9.15 Jeremy Vine (HD)
11.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors
(AD,R,HD) A cub scout has a rash.
12.10 5 News Lunchtime (HD)
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors (R,HD)
1.10 Access (HD)
1.15 Home and Away (AD,HD)
1.45 Neighbours (AD,HD)
2.15 Murder by Text: Garage Sale
Mystery (2017) (PG) ● (HD)
Mystery, starring Lori Loughlin,
Steve Bacic and Emily Tennant.
See Critics’ Choice.
4.00 Friends (R,HD)
4.30 Friends (R,HD)
5.00 5 News (HD)
5.30 Neighbours (AD,R,HD) Paul’s
confidence has been shaken by Lyn.
6.00 Home and Away (AD,R,HD) Justin’s
fears about Tori’s safety almost lead
him to come to blows with Robbo.
6.30 5 News Tonight (HD)7.00 How They Built the Jumbo Jet
(R,HD) Part one of two. As the
50th anniversary of its creation
approaches, this documentary
celebrates the Boeing 747.
(Followed by 5 News Update)8.00 Britain’s Parking Hell (HD)
A look at how motorists who park
in the way, or fail to pay their
fines, might be unlucky enough
to have their cars towed away.
(Followed by 5 News Update)9.00 Secret World of Las Vegas: 24/7
(HD) Documentary meeting some
of the characters and hearing the
stories that make the gambling
capital of Las Vegas one of the
most fun-filled cities on Earth.10.00 The Gypsies Next Door (R,HD)
Almost 1,000 guests turn out for
the funeral of Mikey Connors,
a legend in the traveller
community. Tony sets up a
sunbed business with millionaire
non-traveller Colin.11.05 Old School for Lazy Kids
(R,HD) Twenty-two-year-old
Erik from Reading, who does
nothing around the house,
moves in with Raymond, a
79-year-old handyman who
once ran three businesses.12.05 My Extreme Swollen Face &
Other Medical Mysteries (R,HD)
1.00 The 21.co.uk Live Casino Show
(HD) 3.00 Access (HD) 3.10 Gotham:
Rise of the Villains (AD,R,HD) 4.00
NCIS (AD,R) 4.45 House Doctor
(BSL,R) 5.10 House Doctor (BSL,R)
5.35 Wildlife SOS (BSL,R)(^) ▲ Particularly liable to offend
WELSH TV VARIATIONS
BBC1: 1.30pm BBC Wales Today; Weather. 6.30 BBC
Wales Today; Weather. 8.00 Fake or Fortune? 9.00
Richard and Jaco Take on the World. 10.25 BBC
Wales Today; Weather. 10.35 Mavericks: Sport’s
Lost Heroes. 11.05 High Life. 12.05am Who Do You
Think You Are? 1.10 BBC News.
S4C: 6.00am Cyw. 12noon Newyddion S4C a’r
Tywydd. 12.05 Bywyd y Fet. 12.30 Heno. 1.30
Rhannu. 2.00 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd. 2.05
Prynhawn Da. 3.00 Newyddion S4C a’r Tywydd.
3.05 Aur y Noson Lawen. 4.00 Awr Fawr: Twm Tisian.
4.10 Awr Fawr: Blero yn Mynd i Ocido. 4.25 Awr
Fawr: Halibalw. 4.35 Awr Fawr: Sion y Chef. 4.45 Awr
Fawr: Gwdihw. 5.00 Stwnsh. 6.00 Newyddion S4C a’r
Tywydd. 6.05 Y Fets. 7.00 Heno. 7.30 Pobol y Cwm.
Jason feels undermined when Dylan sends Sara a
bouquet of flowers. 8.00 Shane. Documentary
about Shane Williams. 9.00 Newyddion 9 a’r
Tywydd. 9.30 Yr Anialwch. Six familiar faces
venture into the heart of the world’s deserts.
10.30 Sioe Maggi Noggi. 11.00 Y Stiwdio Gefn.
FILM
CHOICE