Page 64 Daily Mail, Thursday, August 29, 2019
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LETTERS
Grate expectations
at the local cinema
Today’s poem
Out of the mouths of babes
WHILE driving my five-year-
old grandson, Seb, to school
along a country lane, I pointed
out a road sign warning drivers
of deer in the area.
‘Have you ever seen adeer along this stretch of
road?’ I inquired.
Seb thought for a moment,
then replied: ‘Only dead ones.’
Sadie Thorpe,
Chipping Norton, Oxon.Sign language
One-line
philosophers
n COOkIng the books is a
recipe for disaster.
Anne Young,
Cheltenham, Glos.Wordy Wise
DISHMONGER — crockery shop.
NUNDERTAKERS — religious
order that arranges funerals.
PETTING SHOP — dog-grooming
parlour.
CLARITY SHOP — opticians.
PAST OFFICE — branch now
closed.
TOFF LICENCE — sells only
premium drinks.
Russell Gamble,
Woodley, Cheshire.Your jokes
YEStErdaY, at a swimming
competition, I swept the
board — just one of my jobs as
a swimming pool attendant.
Richard Myers,
London NW4.WISHFUL THINKING
Sometimes I wish upon
a star
That I could own a
driverless car
That would whisk me off to
places afar.
But it’s only
wishful thinking.
Sometimes I dream the
impossible dream,
That dishes would wash
themselves and be clean,
But sadly it’s not part of
life’s great scheme,
And it’s only
wishful thinking.
Twice a week I hope
and pray
That I will win the
lottery today,
But sadly it never comes
my way,
So it’s only
wishful thinking.
And when I’m out fishing
I often sigh
And hope for a fish so large
that I
When talking afterwards
may never need lie!
But so far it’s just
wishful thinking.
But most of all I wish
for peace,
That conflict and hate will
one day cease
And humanity from fear
will be released.
I just hope it’s not
wishful thinking!
David Weatherston,
Ryde, Isle of Wight.Limerick
As Merkel and Macron
no doubt
Possess real political clout,
Does their mild appeal
For a modified deal
Mean Boris is in with
a shout?
Robert Ben-Nathan,
Denham, Bucks.SURF IN PERFECT
TIME: Anyone
fancy a surfing
lesson followed by
nearly an hour of
old-style dancing?
Spotted at Surf
Snowdonia by
G. Bishop of
Nuneaton, Warks.Write to: Daily Mail Letters,
2 Derry Street, London W8 5TT
email: [email protected]PETERBOROUGH
email: [email protected]
Migrants at risk
BOrIS JOHnSOn’S warning that
migrants crossing the Channel to
reach the Uk not only risk their lives,
but may be sent back, has been
condemned by support groups.
they point out that many of the
migrants are escaping persecution
and danger in their own countries.
Britain is compassionate and
welcoming to genuine refugees, but
those crossing the Channel can’t be
said to be fleeing to a safe haven from
a dangerous country.
they are coming from France and
may have travelled through a number
of other safe European countries to
make the dangerous crossing.
the ‘taxi service’ provided by life-
boats and Border Force vessels is
necessary to save lives, but perpetu-
ates the problem by encouraging
other migrants to do the same.
Sending them back to France
would save lives by deterring others
from attempting the crossing and
end the lucrative trade of traffickers
who prey on the aspirations of these
unfortunate people.
C. SIMPSON, Wokingham, Berks.Earth-shaking mistake
WHY, when we are falling headfirst
into a climate emergency, are we
allowing the extraction of fossil fuel
shale gas by fracking?
Surely with the need to change to
green, sustainable energy sources, it
is counter-intuitive to propagate a
carbon-based fuel industry.
In the wide open spaces of the U.S.,
some slight tremors may be
acceptable, but not in a densely
populated small island.
I would be interested to know the
insurance industry’s take on
premiums in the Blackpool area.
DAVE JOHNS, Brighton.Pension saviour
I MUSt praise James Wignall for his
efforts in attempting to get the
government to respond to the
pension crisis (Letters).
I am involved with the Pensions
action group and, had it not been
for pensions minister Baroness
altmann, I would have lost 90 per
cent of my retirement pot.
the group has responded to every
dWP consultation and Works and
Pensions Select Committee. We
continue to try to get inflation
protection for our Financial
assistance Scheme pensions, but
were not invited to meet the last two
pensions ministers.
an individual had to take the
government to the European Court
of Justice to get it to comply with the
ruling about protecting pensions as
a result of company failures.
TERRY MONK, Camberley, Surrey.Protect the police
SUSSEX Police and Crime Commis-
sioner katy Bourne has identified
what has to be done to stop the
escalation of assaults on police:
imprisonment — no ifs, no buts.
When I joined the police service in
the Sixties, assaults on officers were
rare because the law gave vital
protection. now, the police and other
emergency services are attacked
routinely because our useless
criminal justice system treats all
victims of violence alike.
as a result, our police officers look
like robocop in baseball caps and
stab vests, carrying tasers, cameras
and all the paraphernalia that goes
with mitigating injury.
If the law fails to respect and
recognise the vital role of the police
and other dedicated people who look
after us, it’s small wonder the violent
element has done the same.
MALCOLM BROCKMAN,
Maidstone, Kent.
aS a justice of the peace, I know
criminals don’t fear being caught.
Until the punishments have a
meaningful deterrent element, they
will carry on breaking the law.
We are tougher on people who put
the wrong rubbish in a bin or over-stay their parking ticket by a few
minutes than we are with vandals
and thieves.
ANGUS LONG,
Newcastle upon Tyne.Sort out TV licence
aFtEr the Prime Minister has
intervened in the argument about
free tV licences, are we going to see
some common sense?
the BBC is constantly telling us
what it would cost and what would
have to be sacrificed in order to
continue this commitment, but a
glance through the tV listings tells a
different story.
On any day, the number of repeats
on BBC1 and BBC2 is close to half of
the programmes broadcast. take
away the news and films, and the
percentage rises well above that.
How much has been spent in
sending two letters to every pensioner
aged over 75, which say virtually
nothing and urge the recipients not
to contact the BBC?
the BBC argues that it can’t afford
to continue with the free licences,
but all I see is a wasteful approach to
its finances.
Why does it take two people to read
a teleprompter to present the
news? Why are there so many
correspondents? Why are camera
crews sent all over the world to
report on an issue that could be
covered by Skype?
Come on, Boris, you may soon need
the pensioners’ vote, so please sort
out the tV licence.
MAURICE HAYWARD, Ratby, Leics.
HErE is the news, presented by
Fiona Bruce and the dozens of people
sitting at the desks behind me, plus
my colleagues walking up and down
the stairs carrying pieces of paper.
a hole has appeared in a pavement
in Sydney, australia. the BBC has
flown out its chief hole correspond-
ent and two assistant hole
correspondents along with a camera
crew, sound crew and piece-of-paper
carriers to look into it.
Here in the studio with me is
another highly-paid BBC corre-
spondent with an important title
who hasn’t got a clue why the hole in
the pavement has appeared, but
talking about it makes work for
people sitting at 15 desks and two
paper carriers.
In the meantime, the BBC is to go
ahead with scrapping the free tV
licence for the over-75s.
MALCOLM PLASCOTT,
West Parley, Dorset.Sky-high price
WHILE it is admirable of the
Cambridges to fly with a budget air-
line on their trips between norwich
and aberdeen, rather than a private
jet, I can assure you it is not budget
priced. I have had to pay £300-plus
for a return ticket.
Passengers on this route are few
and far between so William and kate
would have had privacy.
I’ve taken the early morning flight
and shared the plane with just eight
people. On my return, there were 18
in a 40-seater plane. Why doesn’t
Flybe reduce the cost to encourage
more people to use this service?
MARGARET BRAND, Norwich.HAVE you lost a relative or
friend in recent months whose
life you’d like to celebrate? Our
column on Friday’s letters page
tells the stories of ordinary
people who lived extraordinary
lives. Email a 350-word tribute
to: [email protected] or
write to: Extraordinary Lives,
Daily Mail, 2 Derry Street,
London W8 5TT. Please include a
contact phone number.CELEBRATE LIFE
OF A LOVED ONE
tHE letter relating the story
of the dog hitching a ride
under false pretences
(Peterborough) brought to
mind a similar tale told by
my mother.
In the Forties, when my
brother was a toddler, she
would push him in his pram to
visit her sister who lived about
three miles away.
the family pet dog, Peggy,
would accompany them on herlead. On each occasion, after
reaching roughly the halfway
point, Peggy would suddenly
develop a limp and end up
having to be lifted on the end
of the pram for the remainder
of the journey.
On arrival at their destination,
Peggy would promptly jump
down and trot inside the
house — minus limp!
Hilary Davies,
Llangefni, Anglesey.B
aCk in the late
Fifties I lived in a
prefab on Enfield
Highway in
Middlesex.
the disney film Sleeping
Beauty had just been released
and Mum wanted to take us
kids to see it.
as a six-year-old, I was sent up
the road on my little bike to
look at the huge hoardings
opposite the red Lion pub,
one of which was the
advertisement for the large
cinema in nearby Waltham
Cross, called the Embassy.
Mum had told me she thought
it was perhaps the fourth
poster along. My job was to
read it and return forthwith
and relate what film wasplaying that week. In those
days, the single-screen cinema
would show one main filmfor a whole week — it was
long before the advent
of multiplexes.
Being able to read from an
early age, I set off with
confidence and determination,
my immature mind wandering
off on all sorts of tangents. I
read the fourth poster and
hurried back, my little legs
pumping like pistons,
repeating it over and over in
my head so as not to forget it.
Upon my return, my mother
asked: ‘Well? What did the
poster say?’ to which I proudly
replied: ‘Price’s redburn
Fireplaces!’ Such hilarity
ensued that I am told I ran off
crying and cycled round and
round the garden in tears.
Jeff Gibbs,
Greatstone-On-Sea, Kent.Follow-up
Rhyme For
Our Times
To the tune of Daisy Daisy
Brexit Brexit
Give us a break oh do,
We’re half-crazy all for the
likes of you.
It won’t be a stylish ending,
If the EU aren’t bending,
But still a treat if some
awesome feat
Can finally get rid of you.
Claire Summers, London NW11.