school to ask whether someone could wake up her son “for just the first week or two”, because she had
trouble getting him up. Our staffer responded nicely but firmly that the student would need to do that for
himself. The good news? He did learn to get up on his own, and most students seem to manage to do so,
often within the first few weeks. But it takes some longer than others.
Getting around, especially on public transportation
How many secondary school students make their own way to school, knowing the schedules of public
transport or asking for lifts? We’re an urban school, and getting anywhere off-campus, on a student budget,
often requires taking the bus. But year after year when I check in with students, they tell me they’ve never
been on public transport. Most don’t want to try, especially alone.
It’s not surprising that suburban kids don’t know much about public transport. But if they know they will
have no car at university, addressing this should be on the to-do list while in secondary school.
Moving forward is easier for everyone – parent, student and teacher – when life skills are passed on before
they are needed
Obviously, your home community will determine how much exposure to public transport is possible during
the secondary school years. But talking to your children about investigating buses and trains will at least
give them permission to try it out when they move to campus.
Most schools have bus schedule information, and grabbing a few paper schedules while on a campus tour to
take home and look at together is a good way to introduce students to the overall area. Once school begins,
they can find classmates who are local or commuters: accompanying someone who takes the bus everyday is
a fast, and safer, way to learn about public transport than going it alone.
How would your child fare if university started today?
No matter how smart your child is, no matter how much they hustled to get into university, no matter how
much you love them, if they are trying to learn life skills at the same time they are taking on the load and
pressure of university, they will be at a disadvantage.
When students are not able to get to class because they can’t get up or don’t manage their time well, when
they miss assignments or take late penalties because they don’t know how to prioritise, when they are not
paying attention or are just rude to me or to their classmates because they are distracted by hunger or
uncertain how to act, all of those things affect their grades, and my assessment of them.
And so this message is not for those parents who are sending off their children in a few weeks. Those new
adults will manage with what they’ve got. This is for parents with kids in secondary school. Ask yourselves
how well your child would fare if university started today. And if the answers make you uneasy, you’ve got
time to change them. Let your teens organise their own after-school time, maybe just one day a week. Let
them find out the consequences of spending all their time on a phone instead of getting work done. Let
them organise their own transport for one element of their lives.
Maybe you are saying to yourself, “My child may not have all the life skills mentioned here, but I know my
child. My child is smart. My child is nice. My child will figure it out.” You know your child better than
anyone. But when a student misses class or assignments and gets a lower grade, it’s hard to feel smart.
When a student gets feedback from a professor that indicates lack of effort, or negative peer assessment for
missing meetings or not completing tasks, or just not getting along, it’s hard to feel nice.