The Sunday Telegraph - 01.09.2019

The Sunday Telegraph Sunday 1 September 2019 *** 23

Features

T

oday is the official end

of summer; back to

school month; back to

real life, and many of us

will be feeling a bit sad

that autumn’s on the

horizon. Others (hello friends!) will

be somewhere between relieved and

delighted that we can get back to

business as usual and return to being

the pasty, wool-swaddled, soup-

guzzling, curtain-drawing, cold-

blooded types we naturally are.

Some of us will be counting the

days to autumn and the reasons to be

cheerful for it. Starting with:

No more barbecues

That alone is reason to put out the

bunting: no more blackened hickory

smoked meat with charcoal striped

vegetables and everything tasting of

burnt. No more salads; we do like

salads but enough with trying to ring

the changes with orange segments

and toasted almonds. Welcome back

lovely stews, mash and chilli.

No more fans

The amount of fans there are lurking

about the house waiting to trip us up

is out of control. There’s been no

room to swing a cat, and still the air in

the bedrooms has been like a carriage

on the Central Line (*see ‘No more

sweaty nights’). Also no more making

decisions based solely on the

air-conditioning situation: as in,

booking the Tex Mex restaurant/

tickets for the matinee of The Lion

King just because it guarantees AC, or

drifting aimlessly in a gentleman’s

grooming shop, because the air is

cold.

No more sweaty nights

It has often felt like a scene from

Apocalypse Now in our bedroom over

the summer, and even if it hadn’t,

some of us are so much happier

under a serious tog duvet

and an eiderdown,

wearing a dressing gown

with a steaming cup of

something on the bedside

table.

Barbecues are out, bare branches are in –

just two of 16 reasons to be cheerful for the

turn of the season. Shane Watson rejoices

How to get your children

bounding into term-time

O

ne of the most

delicious things about

the long summer break

is the opportunity to

let go of the reins.

Children amble down

late to breakfast in pyjamas, while

their bedtimes slip in the long, lazy

evenings. If they want to play on

their iPads for two hours, well, it’s

mum and dad’s holiday, too.

But after six weeks of feasting,

flopping and playing non-stop

Fortnite, the beginning of September

can be a harsh wake-up call. And a

report published earlier this week

found that fewer than one in 10

British teenagers is meeting the

recommended guidelines for sleep,

exercise and screen time.

“The whole lovely thing about the

summer holidays is that everyone

relaxes a bit,” says Andrea Chatten,

emotional and behavioural child

psychologist and founder of Unravel

support. “By now some children will

be practically nocturnal – their

whole body clock will be out of

sync.”

With the new school term starting

this week, time is running out to get

your strung-out summer children

and teens ready for the term to come.

Small steps now will have children

positively bounding into school for

the autumn term – or at the very

least not turning into snarling

monsters when the alarm goes off.

1

Get over it

Start by laying down your

own guilt over lax summer

parenting and accept that change is

possible.

“If you got a bit lax over the break

because you had something going

on, or there wasn’t a lot of structure

to the day so the children were on

screens, that isn’t the worst thing

a parent can do,” says

Alexander Kriss,

psychotherapist and

author of Universal Play,

a book about the effects

of video games.

“Don’t feel ashamed that

you let things slide, and your

With summer fun done,

it’s time to get kids back

into the school groove,

says Rosie Murray-West

children don’t need to feel ashamed

that they enjoy spending time on their

screens.”

2

Establish the goals

Knowing the official guidelines

can help to set boundaries.

According to The Sleep Council,

children between 7 and 12 years old

require between 10 and 11 hours of

sleep per night, dropping to between

eight and nine hours between the ages

of 12 and 18. Recent suggestions from

Canadian academics also include an

hour of physical activity and fewer

than two hours on screens a day for

teens.

A study published in medical

research journal Jama last week found

that fewer than one in 10 14-year-olds

operates within these limits at

present, but they are something to aim

for.

3

Move slowly

Lauren Peacock, a sleep

consultant who runs Little

Sleep Stars, says that moving bedtime

15 minutes earlier every day will help

get even teens back on track.

“Start where you are,” she says. “If

your children have been going to bed

at 10 and you put them to bed at 8pm,

they won’t sleep.” Peacock says that a

consistent screen-free routine before

bed will benefit everyone. Set timers

to put your phone to sleep at least an

hour before bedtime (yes, yours too),

and park them outside of bedrooms.

4

Be upfront

Re-introducing rules around

screen time may be necessary,

but “open dialogue about the rationale

behind the boundaries you have set is

important,” says Kriss. “Parents should

be upfront about why there needs to

be moderation, but they also need to

acknowledge that they understand

that this stuff is meaningful to the

child, and isn’t just perceived as

‘candy’ for them. Technology can be a

source of connection, a place to vent

aggression. It has its own time and

place like anything else.”

5

Deploy distractions

Replacing screen time with

new activities over the next

few days will help to soften the blow.

Parenting coach Alex Kremer

suggests planning in some exercise in

the open air. “This can really help

with sleep, but don’t run them

ragged,” she counsels. “If they are

overtired this releases cortisol, which

stops them sleeping.”

A reintroduction to regular

mealtimes at the kitchen table, rather

than out and about, will help, too.

Hannah Feldman, founder of

Kidadl, an activities app designed to

get children out and about, suggests

laying out some traditional board

games. “Then all convene around the

table to play,” she says. “Sometimes as

parents we need to provide the spark

to ignite the (real-life) action – as once

they get started they’re off!”

Notably, none of the experts

encouraged getting out the work

books. Being well rested and content

were agreed to be the best ways to

prepare for a return to studying.

6

Don’t set yourself up for

failure

“They probably won’t sleep the

night before school, and will be

nervous and apprehensive,” warns

Chatten. Even if there are tears before

registration, you can comfort yourself

with the fact you’ve done your best.

“You will have got them into the

right mindset, and it won’t be such a

big mental, cultural and emotional

hurdle,” Chatten says. “It is really

lovely to start the new term feeling

great and positive, and it is all about

GETTY IMAGESmaking little tweaks now.”

Proper rain

Who doesn’t love a stair-rods

downpour – unless you’re on a bicycle

or trying to cross a road with a large

paper lampshade, or walking down a

grassy hill wearing slippy shoes. But,

in general, there are few weather

conditions we like as much as Have to

Stay Indoors rain which will also water

what is left of the plants.

Not having to do the whole

al fresco thing

For a bit it’s amusing and then it’s

compulsory and someone has to

schlep backwards and forwards with

the plates and the glasses and then find

cushions and candles that won’t blow

out and rugs – when the temperature

suddenly drops – or if it’s lunchtime,

hats to keep off the sun. Zzzzz.

Letting the garden go to rack

and ruin

The relief! Just soil and bare branches.

No more tending the plants! No more

worrying you’ll look like a garden

slattern because your herbs are all

limp and your snail problem has

clearly never been addressed.

Getting back to normal routine

Where is everyone? They keep going

away. It’s like the new one-upmanship:

you go away for your real holiday, then

you come back, then you go away for

your other holiday (possibly closer to

home) and then you go away AGAIN.

Just for a few days, because Cornwall

is really lovely in the third week of

September. Everyone’s been to-ing

and fro-ing at different times, and it’s

been unsettling, and hard to make

plans, so now we are craving some

uninterrupted straight through to you

know when, normality.

Only 115 days to Christmas!

Just kidding. There are 115 days to

Christmas, but let’s not think about

that. That’s not on the Get The

Autumn Buzz list.

Back-to-school fresh start

September is the new January, the

month when we all take stock, throw

out, clean up. This is when you get

the new specs, the new washbag, the

new haircut, maybe a Sodastream

(those summer fizzy water bills have

Countdown to...

warm jumpers,

above, knee-high

boots, right, and

red wine over rosé

are just some of

the things on the

autumnal horizon

PLAINPICTURE/HANDKE + NEU; GETTY IMAGES

been punishing). It’s all about the

“back to school” feeling – time to put

away childish things and get stuck

back in again – without the dread.

You have projects. You have plans.

You are (probably) going to start

every other day fasting and go back

to Pilates. It’s a time of hope, put it

that way.

You might plan a mini break

Could be the time for a romantic

sojourn in Rome or Istanbul or one of

those places that only a deranged

person would visit in summer.

Getting back into proper

clothes

As in serious clothes – tailored out of

wool and tweed and leather – but,

more importantly, lump flattening

and flaw disguising. Praise be, we

can finally put away not just our legs

and arms (woo hoo) but our necks,

our feet and, if the mood takes us,

we can pull up our hoods, so all

that’s left requiring attention is the

front of our faces. How much have

we missed hiding inside a polo neck

and wrapping ourselves up like

babies in giant shawls? Just being

warm in your clothes – the right

sort of warm, not Deep South,

swampy warm with patches of

prickly heat – is something to really

look forward to.

Not having bright light-bulb

hair (one for the blondes)

Thanks to sun working on highlights

working with colour-enhancing

shampoo, you get to this point in the

year and you have the hair of Billy

Idol. Now we can go back to dark

mouse, with accents of crème brûlée.

Saying hello again to red wine

The rosé has been great, we’ve

enjoyed every drop, but there is

fantastic news – just in last week –

about the health benefits (yes, you

read that correctly) of red wine, the

new season’s natural choice. If you

weren’t already looking forward to

switching to a full-bodied Sicilian

red, then you will now: it is, in no

particular order, cardio friendly,

better for your figure and nectar for

the gut. There is some stuff about

one glass fortnightly being the ideal,

but you know – still a reason to be

cheerful.

Fires!

No better place to sip your Sicilian

red than beside a roaring log fire, and

your room has looked sort of cold

and bald without it. That shameful

log burner is back in business,

should you have one.

Aga hanging

This is not possible in summer, for

obvious reasons, and that’s a great

shame because, along with the space

immediately outside the back door

at a party, the Aga rail is where

serious late-night talking gets

done.

Leather

Can’t wait for it: the boots, the

bags, maybe the shirt... It is like

this every year, so proceed with

caution. First whiff of autumn and

we’re panting for leather, urgently

in need of conker-coloured

knee-high boots, maybe an

aubergine jumper. Aubergine!

Chocolate brown.

Goodbye summer, time to give

way.

I’m embracing the thrill of the autumn chill

the summe

some of us ares

under a s

and ane

wearin

wit

derdo

g a dress

teaming

ing on the

ble.

aring

with a st

somethi

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