STELLA|1SEPTEMBER 2019 11areyou?’ Ireplied,‘I’llbehome in 30 mins.’
AsIopenedthefrontdoor,Lukewasthere,
hunchedoverhis phone, livid.‘You’re sleep-
ing withMike, aren’tyou?’ he said coldlythe
secondIwalked in. ‘You were at ahotel. ’He
pointedatascreenshotonhisphoneofamap
withadot in thelocation ofthehotel I’djust
come from. It hit methat h e’dbeentracking
me.‘Howdareyou?’Ishouted,furious.
Iwentcoldand wondered if Ievenknew
this manI’d beenmarrie dtof or five years. It
mightsound dramatic,but as ateenagerI’d
beenstalked by an ex-boyfriend who
camped outside my house and sent notes,
threatening to kill himself.Luke’s actions
broughtitback.
That nightIslept in thespareroom, then
confrontedhim thenextday.Itt urnedoutthat tw omonths earlierhe’dgone on tomy
phone andswit ched on theFind MyFriends
app (automaticallyloade dontoiPhones),
whichallowedmylocationtobeshar edwith
hisphone.Hesaidhe’d firstsneakedalookat
my loca tion toseeifI’d made anurser ypick-
up,thengotcarriedawaychecking.
WhenIexplained what had happenedasa
teen ager and howmuch this upset me,he
welledupand began apologising. Istill felt
that it wasabetrayal of trust butIknew it
wasn’tmaliciousandthathe ’d justpanicked.
My friends had mixedreactions. One
laughedito ff, tellingmeshe often followed
herdrunk husbandonasimilarapp.But an-
other wasworrie dthat it was asign of deep-
ercontrolissues.
Over thefollowingweeks, Luke kept apolo-
gising and ggraduallywebegan rebuilding our
trust.Two months on,we laug hmoreand
communicatebetterthanwehaveinyears.But
I’veblockedmyphone location asIfind track-
ingcreepy,andLukehascutbackonhisscreen
time. Most importantly,nextweekwe’re turn-
ingoffNetflixandgoingonanactualdate.
Wouldyouletyourpartnertrackyour
location?Doyousecretlycheckhis?Tellus
ontheTelegraphWomenFacebookgroupFIND MYFRIENDS. It’s such alighthearted
nameforanappthatalmostcostmemymar-
riage.Irememberthemoment vividly.Com-
inghome fromaworknight out,tipsy and
happy,Iquickly soberedupwhen Luke*
angrilyaccusedme of having an affair witha
colleagueI’d barel yevenlookedat.Ifeltcor-
neredandsick.
Lukeand Ihad metataworkconference
when Iwas inmy mid-30s and he was 28.
Backthen Ifelt insecureabout thesix-year
agegap but we made itwork.Ayear laterwe
gotmarried and our twinsons, Theoand
Ted,arr ivedsoonafter.
Lukewas abrilliantdad and, ever- organ-
ised,hes etuponlinecalendarstokeepontop
of thingsbut it wasadifficulttime for us. Sex
had become infrequent andsometimesIfelt
that we were morelikehousemates.When-
ever Isuggestedgetting ababysitter, LukeOne day
Ifound outmyhusband was
tracking my locatio nonline
would say, ‘Let’s justget atakeaway.’We’dsit
in frontofNetflix, while Isecretly w ondered
ifhe thoughtIwastoooldto takeout.
One nightwhen theboys were two–by
whichtime Iwas backat work part-time –I
wasinvitedtodrinks for acolleague ’s birth-
day. It wassunny and Ifeltlikeletting my
hair do wn so Luke agreed to dothenursery
pickup.IsaidI’dbehomeby10pm.
Putting onsome lippy afterwork and
natteringoverabottle of Chardonnay was
wonderful;Ifelthumanagain.But towa rds
theend ofthenight, my boss corner ed me
and,sobbing, confidedthat hermarriage
wasont hebrink.Iagreedto go to ahotel bar
withher nearthe stationtochat prop erly
and didn’t textLuke,assum inghe’dbe
asleep.Bythe time Igot awayto catchthe
last train home it was midnight. Only then
didIseethethreeirat etexts. ‘Where thehell‘You’ re sleeping with Mike, aren ’t
you?’ Lukesaid coldlythe second
Iwalkedin.‘Youwereatahotel’
As told to Sally
Howard.*All names ha
ve been changed. Get
ty Images
,pictur
eposed
by model
Document: 1011CC-STMMA-1-010919-A011C-XX.pdf;Format:(205.00
x260.00 mm);Date: 27.Aug 2019 16:09:30; Telegraph
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