Happiful – September 2019

(Wang) #1
I started to believe that I was
a broken person, who was
intrinsically flawed and would
never find happiness

Graeme Orr | MBACP (Accred) UKRCP
Reg Ind counsellor

This experience of
psychosis, along with a
long, intense period of
hyperactive behaviour,
led me to the lowest I had
ever felt. I had to leave the
job I loved, and became
suicidal. It was like my life
had come full circle, and
I felt like that frightened
14-year-old again. I was
exhausted from spending
a decade in a battle with
my mind. I felt there were
no answers, and no hope.
Finally, in December
2012, I was given an
answer: I was diagnosed
with bipolar disorder.
Although the diagnosis
didn’t solve everything,
it showed me I wasn’t
flawed; I was ill.
Eventually I found a
mix of medications that
worked for me, and I
began to experience times


when I felt stable. I started
going to a Bipolar UK
support group, where I
no longer felt alone. The
group discussions helped
me spot the warning signs
and identify that alcohol,
a lack of sleep, and stress
triggered my episodes.
Jimi and I got married in


  1. He is compassionate,
    caring, and the most
    supportive person in my
    life. I feel truly lucky to
    have found someone who
    has taken my illness in his
    stride and been able to see
    beyond it – to see me as a
    person. With his support,
    I’ve been able to accept
    my diagnosis.
    I started writing a blog,
    Stumbling Mind, and I’ve
    found it really therapeutic.
    This lead to me writing
    for charities and websites.
    I’m not afraid to be open


with others, and have
had so much support
from friends, family, and
complete strangers.
Although I can’t work
full-time, writing has
given me a renewed sense
of purpose. I’ve learnt
that although I’ve had to
make adjustments to my
life, I can still live well.
Bipolar doesn’t control
me, and I’m more than a
diagnosis.
Bipolar is a life-long
condition, but it can be
managed with the correct
treatment. I still suffer
from difficult episodes of
mania and depression, but
I’m continually learning
to educate myself and
manage my condition. I
no longer feel frightened
and alone, but instead I
feel in control and positive
about the future.

September 2019 • happiful.com • 39

Katie blogs at stumblingmind.com, and has a podcast,
‘A Life Lived Vividly’, with a focus on hearing voices

OUR EXPERT SAYS
Katie experienced mood
swings and critical
voices from her teenage
years, which impacted
her education and
relationships. Things
improved on meeting her
partner, who helped her
to cope. After getting her
bipolar diagnosis, she
finally found her self-
belief, started receiving
treatment, and met
support groups. Mental
illness can overwhelm us,
and seem like we’re the
only one feeling this way.
But recognising symptoms,
and getting
support can
really change
our lives.
Free download pdf