the issue:
We D i d n ’t
Fe e l
Welcome at
Our Resort
A
shley and Samantha Kiley-Roche had
been together for five years when
they decided to get married. “We
shared a home and a dog, and the timing just
felt right,” says Sam (below, at right), 31. Seri-
ous music lovers, they were looking forward
to their first dance, but when it came to
choosing a song, they hit a snag: “Our first
choice was ‘Home,’ by Edward Sharpe and
the Magnetic Zeros,” says Ashley, 30. But it
features a man and woman singing to each
other, which felt discordant. For six months
they pored over their extensive music collec-
tion, and they finally came to a compromise.
“Rather than the traditional slow dance, we
decided to pick an upbeat option,” she says. In
the end, they chose “You Are the Best Thing,”
by Ray LaMontagne, which felt exactly right.
“It’s one of our favorites, and he just says
‘you,’ ” says Ashley. There was another musi-
cal highlight: When the DJ played “Same
Love,” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, a rap
ode to same-sex relationships, guests formed
a circle on the dance floor, holding hands and
singing along. “Ever y few seconds, someone
else would join,” mar vels Ashley. “Straight
couples, gay couples, my mom’s oldest friend
from high school, all swaying back and forth.
It was like the most amazing, most beautiful
moment from the corniest movie ever.” —S.B.the issue:
“Our Song” Skewed Hetero
HOW TO FIND
A GREAT FIRST-
DANCE SONG
So, what if your favorite ballad has
endless uses of he and she? Your
wedding band can rearrange
it to fit your first dance—make it
shorter, change the lyrics, and
even add your names. Using a
DJ? Easy: Have her hunt down a
gender-appropriate cover. That
said, most great love songs are
universal, and plenty of classics
are gender free and awesome—
no edits required. Here are 10
that we can get behind.
1 “At Last,” by Etta James
2 “All of Me,” by John Legend
3 “You Are the Best Thing,”
by Ray LaMontagne
4 “First Day of My Life,”
by Bright Eyes
5 “Make You Feel My Love,”
by Adele
6 “Fly Me to the Moon,”
by Frank Sinatra
7 “The Nearness of You,”
by Norah Jones
8 “Thinking Out Loud,”
by Ed Sheeran
9 “How Long Will I Love You,”
by Ellie Goulding
10 “Exception,”
by ParamoreV
ictoria Lanteigne, 33, and Livia
Lam, 39, were scrupulous about
booking an LGBTQ-friendly venue
and vendors for their Baltimore wedding.
But when planning their honeymoon, “we
didn’t give it much thought,” admits Victo-
ria (above left). The couple chose Thailand
for its culture and cuisine, plus its mix of
beaches for Victoria and city for Livia.
Relaxed and besotted, they arrived at their
upscale resort to start their honeymoon.
That they’d made the wrong choice was
immediately apparent: “At check-in, when
we told people we were on our honey-
moon, we were met with a murmured con-
gratulations,” Victoria recalls. “We were
subject to a few stares from staff and some
of the other guests.” And when a friend
had a bottle of champagne sent to the
couple’s room, it was addressed to “Mr.
and Mrs. Lanteigne.” Feeling subdued and
self-conscious, they weren’t comfortable
being affectionate, so they left the resort,
forfeiting their deposit, and checked into
Phulay Bay in southwest Thailand. “We
ended up having a great time and loving
the countr y,” says Victoria. “But we
learned the hard way that you should
think about the comfort level your desti-
nation has with LGBTQ couples.” —S.B.FOR MORE SAME-SEX WEDDING DETAILS,
GO TO BRIDES.COM/SAMESEXMARRIAGE.FROM TOP: SHANE CARPENTER PHOTOGRAPHY/READYLUCK; SASHA ISRAEL PHOTOGRAPHY
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