2019-09-01 Reader\'s Digest

Actor Megan Fox had just one job growing

up: “I worked at a smoothie café. I used

to have to dress up as a banana. I had the

option of apple or banana. I always went

with banana because it was thinner.”

—usmagazine.com

My boss arrived at

work in a brand-new

Lamborghini. “Wow,”

I said. “That’s an

amazing car.”

He replied, “If you

work hard, put all your

hours in, and strive

for excellence, I’ll get

another one next year.”

—boredpanda.com

A college girl was

visiting my farm and

noticed the ring in our

bull’s nose. Intrigued,

she asked, “Did you put

that ring in his nose or

was he born that way?”

—Donna hatch

Corinna, Maine

Anything funny

happen to you at work?

It could be worth $$$.

For details, go to

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A patient came to the

hospital with a burned

right hand. As the

doctor took down his

medical history, he

A TOUGH DAY ON THE JOB

✦ Hundreds of Indian

passengers were stuck

aboard a train for two

hours after the conductor

abandoned his post.

Turns out he was hot,

so he went home to

take a cold shower.

—indiatoday.in

✦ In 2018, a myste-

rious power-outage

message in Lake

Worth, Florida, warned

the public of a “zombie

alert.” No one is quite

sure how the message

was sent, but one local

official had the dubious

task of reassuring the citi-

zenry: “I want to reiterate

that Lake Worth does not

have any zombie activity

currently.” Currently?

—palmbeachpost.com

✦ There’s not a whole

lot to relieve the boredom

when working in

Antarctica, so books

take on added

importance. Too

much impor-

tance, evidently.

A Russian electrical

engineer was arrested for

assaulting a coworker.

The reason behind the

attack: His colleague kept

ruining the ending of the

books he was reading.

—vice.com

asked the injured man,

“Do you smoke?”

“Yeah, a pack and

a half a day,” said the

patient.

Concerned, the

doctor told him,

“You should consider

quitting.”

“No, it’s OK,” said

the patient. “I smoke

with my left hand.”

—Brett Castilaw

Knoxville, Tennessee

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