Drum – 22 August 2019

CREDITS:2.5MMFROMTHEMARGIN

not everyone would understand how I

look, and that there would be people

who would try to dim my light because

of my sexuality, and I shouldn’t allow it.”

When she was nine her parents split

up “and my bubble of protection burst”.

S

HE moved with her mom

to a flat in Berea, Johan-

nesburg, and her mother

began dating the man

who would become her

stepfather.

Azara quickly learnt just how

cruel people could be. “He would

tell my mother, ‘Your son will be

f***ed by other men’, and he didn’t

care if I heard him or not. He’d be-

little me at every opportunity and

refertomeas Queen Elizabeth.”

Life was awful at home, and at

school things were no better. She

was bullied and ostracised by fellow

learners and teachers because she

was different, Azara recalls.

“Parents would tell their children

not to play with me at school or

after school because they said

I would teach the kids how

to be gay. Teachers would

also mock me about how I

walked, dressed and spoke.”

Being an outcast affected

her self-esteem badly and she

became withdrawn, only

speaking when spoken to in

class, and taking part in fewer

and fewer school activities.

She hated her penis and would

take baths in the dark to avoid

seeing it. “I’d also tuck it away. That

was a painful exercise.”

At around age 14 she became obsessed

with getting rid of the body part. “I re-

searched like a mad person about

amputating it. A friend even told me

about people who would let a crab bite

them so they could change their sex.”

Frustrated and desperate, Azara took

a razor blade to herself and tried to am-

putate it. “I was bleeding so badly that

I had to be rushed to hospital to receive

medical attention,” she says.

She later found out about a medical

procedure to remove testicles at Life

Carstenhof Hospital, and with the help

of an older friend who posed as her

mother because she wasn’t yet 18, she

underwent the two-hour surgery.

She was in excruciating pain once the

morphine wore off after the surgery, “but

Iwashappythatonepartoftheun-

wanted organs had been removed.”

Azara celebrated her 18th birthday by

going to home affairs to legally change

her name and gender, as she was going

to university the following year. “My

plan was to have a new name and not

to be enrolled as a man,” she says.

“For the gender change they needed

an affidavitfromthepolice and a letter

from my doctor, as well as an independ-

ent doctor who had examined me and

approved my request for the change.

For the name change I only had to fill in

a form indicating my reasons and my

new name.”

S

TILL, she wanted her out-

ward appearance to reflect

how she felt on the inside. “I

always knew I was a woman

born in a man’s body.”

In 2010 Azara underwent a

complete sex change at a clinic in Thai-

land. She paid for it using the R250 

she’d been given by a financial organisa-

tion towards her tuition, but her parents

later gave her the same amount of

money to pay for her studies.

The operation was a success “and after

months of recovery and rehabilitation

treatment I was in love with my new

looks. I no longer had to live through the

pain of tucking my manhood between

my thighs and covering it with under-

wear to ensure it didn’t slip out.

“I had become the woman I always

wanted to be.”

Azara, who is single at the moment,

would like to settle down and start a

family when she finds her soulmate. “Be-

cause biology doesn’t allow for me to

have my own children, I’m toying with

the idea of adopting two children in the

near future.”

Being a transgender woman can be

dangerous, says Azara, who was raped in

2015 after her drink was spiked in a club.

“I woke up with a bad headache in a

bed I didn’t know. Everything that hap-

pened the previous night was a blur.

People take advantage of transgender

women – they want to experiment with

us and see if we are sexually different

from other women.”

As a board member of Access Chapter

2, a non-profit organisation which advo-

cates for the rights of LGBTI+ (Lesbian,

Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Intersex)

people, Azara says she always tells trans-

gender women “not to disclose their

sexuality to anyone, as they don’t owe

anyone an explanation.

“The reality is that we are living in a

dangerous society and people will take

advantage of you and want to experi-

ment with you,” she warns.

“I encourage women not to seek vali-

dation or approval from anyone – you’re

perfect as you are.”

Azara Raphael (LEFT) was born in

Soweto and raised as Vusumuzi Maseko

(ABOVE). But she says she always knew

she was not a boy inside.

As a teenager Azara hated her body and

wanted to get rid of her penis.

Thanks to a sex change in 2010 she’s the

woman she always wanted to be.

http://www.drum.co.za 22 AUGUST 2019 | (^17)
NEWS