THIS MONTH’S
HITS & MISSES
BY → MARC SNETIKER @MARCSNETIKER
From now on
we’ll only be
referring to Chris
Hemsworth as
“Male Thor.”Mahershala
Ali to play
vampire Blade,
his second clash
with a cursed
demon since the
Green Book
script.Faye Dunaway
fired from
one-woman play.
Costume department
rejoices at being
able to use wire
hangers again.The engaged
couple is exclu-
sively registered
at Macy’s, Target,
and the dungeon
planet Zorbgrox.
“Old Town
Road” sets
18-week record
for longest run at
No. 1. “Please,
break my leg,”
begged the
horse.Haim and
Taylor Swift:
Finally, pop
music that
sounds the way
Instagram
filters look.Euphoria:
a great new
standard for
representation
of high school
friends you still
won’t ever stay
in touch withHard to
believe it’s been
25 years since
Friends invented
both Jennifer
Aniston and
ThanksgivingFirst
comes
“Señorita,”
then comes
Seeing Other
Gente.Lord of the
Rings prequel
casts new charac-
ter Tyra, as if
Middle-earth doesn’t
already have some-
one who taught
the hobbits how
to smize.Call Me by
Your Name
director eyes Lord
of the Flies as next
project. Whatever
you do, DON’T
look inside the
conch shell.And you
thought Pet
Sematary was
the year’s most
upsetting
cat movie.Cabaret “singer”
Luann de Lesseps
rumored to join
Broadway’s Chicago,
guaranteeing there’ll
be at least
one live murder
every night.Once upon
a time, it
didn’t take a
Once Upon
a Time to
appreciate
Brad Pitt.Quibi green-
lights How to Lose
a Guy in 10 Days
TV show, a big first
step in How to
Explain to People
What Quibi Is.Something’s
wrong when the
two best parts of
Hobbs & Shaw are
neither Hobbs
nor Shaw