10/2019 KIPLINGER’S PERSONAL FINANCE 61POON WATCHARA-AMPHAIWAN
Retired and Single: Readers Weigh In
W
hen I asked readers to share
their experiences with being
single in retirement (see “Liv-
ing in Retirement,” June), you didn’t
let me down. Not only did you offer
useful advice, but you also came up
with out-of-the-box ideas. And all of
your stories are just as valuable for
retirees who have a spouse or partner.
Not surprisingly, a number of you
recommended volunteering as a way
to socialize, and the suggestions were
all over the map. For example, Ed
Chidester volunteers as an English
tutor for international students at a
community college, as a travel guide
for field trips sponsored by the local
senior center (he gets to travel free),
and as a member of the investment
advisory board for his town.
In the past, he’s also been a
middle school math tutor
and a dog walker at a hu-
mane society—and he may
give those another try. “I’ve
changed my volunteer activ-
ities because sometimes I
need to try something
different,” he writes.
Volunteering isn’t a
panacea, and it’s criti-
cal to find the right fit.
“All my volunteer posi-
tions have ties to my
interests, and I have
actively sought them
rather than passively
searching the internet,”
writes Chidester. Reader
Nila Whitfield always
wanted to work with
children, so she began
volunteering as a read-
ing buddy at an inner-
city school three years
before she retired.
And Doris Guentherions. Volunteer at a shelter, and before
you know it you will find the perfect
companion.” Plus, she says, “there’s
nothing better than having a dog to get
you out for a walk to meet other dogs—
and people—in the neighborhood.”
Reader Dorothy Fue Wong, who is
80 years old and has been retired for
25 years, recommends focusing on
your physical as well as your mental
well-being with regular exercise as
part of a class or at the gym. “That
should be your first priority,” writes
Wong. “The major objective for a
single retiree is to live independently
as long as possible.” (And remember,
gyms are classic meeting places; that’s
where my recently married son met
his future wife.)
Finally, a couple of you emphasized
how important it is to be comfortable
in your own skin. “I don’t need to
‘cope with’ being alone in retirement
because I actually prefer
being alone most of the
time,” writes one reader.
“I have spent my life
out in nature, working
in the woods, and I love
silence, absent from
human chattering.”
Reader Rod Appel sec-
onds that thought. “I’ve
found it more rewarding
to seek fun and excitement rather than
social connections, even if that means
doing things solo,” writes Appel, 63,
who runs 5K races, paddleboards and
skis, among other activities. “Some-
times I meet interesting people at the
races or on the ski hill, but even if I
don’t find anyone to talk with, I’ve still
had a great time. Retirement is what
you make it, so why not live out your
dreams?” ■
JANET BODNAR IS EDITOR AT LARGE OF KIPLINGER’S PERSONAL
FINANCE. CONTACT HER AT [email protected].recommends using your church as a
resource. “Deep and lasting relation-
ships can be formed,” writes Guenther,
“good works can take place, and there
are many opportunities to volunteer.
Try a small church in your neighbor-
hood. It’s good for the soul.”Making connections. Socializing can
sometimes begin at home—even if you
live alone. “Four years ago, I sold my
house and moved to a condo building,”
writes Whitfield, “so it’s a built-in
community of 54 friends.” (Note: Don’t
be afraid to speak to people in the ele-
vator.) John Taxis joined the board
of the homeowners association at his
condo, “which keeps me very busy and
gives me a sense of purpose.” Plus,
“living in a condo complex brings
me in close contact socially, and
being on the board makes me
sought-after—although thatcan be a double-
edged sword!”
Socializing
doesn’t neces-
sarily have to
involve people.
“My number-one sug-
gestion for your readers
who are alone is to
adopt an older cat or
dog,” writes Lynne
Derry. “They make
wonderful compan-LIVING IN RETIREMENT Janet Bodnar“THERE’S NOTHING BETTER
THAN HAVING A DOG TO GET
YOU OUT FOR A WALK TO MEET
OTHER DOGS—AND PEOPLE—
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.”Commentary